shopping with FI? Has anyone done it

posted 1 year ago in Dress
Post # 16
601 posts
Busy bee

i say go with your fiance if you want.  this is one of those “traditions” that felt a bit silly to me.  my fiance didn’t shop with me, but he did see pics of me in the dress.  we didn’t do a first look either, and did our pictures before the wedding.  he still cried when he saw me walk down the aisle.  the fact that he knew what i was going to be wearing did not take away from the specialness of the moment. 

Post # 17
1132 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2019 - City, State

My two cents: go with friend #1. She obviously loves you and wants you to be happy. Not to mention, this is YOUR dress. Why gives a hoot what ANYONE else thinks?!?!?!

Post # 18
748 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

I’m definitely more traditional and did not want DH to see any part of my dress nor go with me.

I saw a wedding show and the girl brought her fiancé and I thought it was different, but then again, each relationship is different too.

I like the idea of going alone and having a consultant help you out. Even if you’d rather purchase the dress secondhand or get a cheaper option, going to a bridal store and working with someone who helps pick the best dress to make you look wonderful will be extremely helpful. Just because you go to an appointment somewhere, doesn’t mean you have to buy your dress there.

If you do want your fiancé’s opinion, ask him what styles he likes on you and talk about it. I would fantasize about dresses before we even got engaged and would show DH things I found on Pinterest and would show him and ask his thoughts which helped me decide as well. There’s nothing wrong with getting your fiancé’s opinion.

If you want someone to go with you but to keep it a surprise from your Fiance, I second a PP about inviting your first friend.

Post # 22
934 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

If you want his input, of course it would be fine to take him! One of my male friends has strong fashion opinions. He and his wife chose her dress together. They are still married 13 years later. 

Post # 23
8368 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I love the idea of going shopping with your fi. Theres a huge difference between seeing the dress, and seeing your hair/makeup/veil/day of excitement, so I really dont think you’d lose that. 

its kind of the same as a first look or seeing each other first walking down the aisle. If youre into either one, you won’t be disappointed. 

Post # 24
91 posts
Worker bee

This is truly a decision you make based on what works for you. My sister is the same way and it makes me want to leave the store. Like many commentators said above:

  1. You can go alone and trust the sales rep to guide you. They dress hundreds of brides of all shapes and sizes and usually have an eye for what’s possible.
  2. You can take your family and/or friends with you (maybe after you have narrowed down some styles?) and just be prepared for the range of opinions. Don’t go hungry and keep expectations low.
  3. You can take the FH and let him help because it’s not as uncommon as it seems. Many of the “traditions” for weddings are stewed in long lost meaning or silly superstitious (for kicks, look up the point of bridesmaids and/or the bridal garter). For that reason, do what works for you!! My FH and I are getting ready together, so it was important we found a dress that I not only loved, but that he could help me get in to!!

Fashion is a range of options that look best when you feel confident and beautiful in your selection. The possibilities for your wedding dress, and path to picking it out, are endless. Good luck bee!

Post # 25
180 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2021 - City, State

View original reply
rubilove :  I went with my fiance, but I didn’t pick the dress. I wanted to get a feel for what he liked and his opinion, but I still wanted him to have the dress as a surprise.

I went once with my mom and my aunt, and found basically nothing.

I went with my mom alone, and found THE dress, at David’s Bridal no less.

The thing is, you have to take who you know will help you look your best, but also will support your dreams. For me it was my mom, and we both fell head over heels in love with my dress, so I am super thrilled.

Post # 26
2664 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

I say go with him but keep the final dress you pick a secret so he’s still somewhat surprised.

I went with my friends/mom and even though I got the dress of my dreams I kind of wish I’d gone alone so I could’ve made up my mind without them around. I still wonder what I would’ve picked had it not been for their influence on my decision.

Post # 27
574 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2021

Well you can always count on us to help, show us the dress! 😂

Post # 28
2148 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: City, State

View original reply
peach11 :  Exactly what I came here to say. We have honest opinions and sometimes not-so-rough delivery. 😂

Post # 29
356 posts
Helper bee

I kept showing my fiancé pics of dresses that I liked and he hated EVERYTHING. It didn’t matter what I showed him there was something he didn’t like about each one. I realized it was because he wasnt seeing me IN them, so I asked him if he’d go with me and I’d try on a bunch of dresses and I could see what styles he liked.

So we went to this total sh*thole in a bad area because I wanted to be certain I didnt go somewhere I would actually buy from. I described what I wanted to the consultant and I was looking at the dresses myself while she looked and I pulled out a dress off the rack – it was basically exactly what i had described that I wanted. I tried it on and we both loved it. I looked in a few other shops to try to find one similar with better material and better beading because this one was fairly inexpensive as far as wedding gowns go, but nothing was close. I HATE that he saw it and I don’t like that its kind of ‘cheaper’ but whatever, I got a bargain and it still wont be the same as when I’m all done up with my hair and makeup in it and I’m pretty sure he forgot exactly what i looks like. 

The point is, my fiancé is the only one I care about liking my dress, so why not get his opinion if you want to. Women and men have very different opinions on what looks good, so if it’s really important to you then why not let him come.

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