Post # 1
I am Maid/Matron of Honor at my sister’s wedding and we are both really short– BUT her fiance’s sister (whom he insists on having in the wedding) is really tall– 7-8 inches taller than my sister. His sister found some heels she really likes, but my sister thinks it will look really bad in the pictures if his sister is 8-10 inches taller than her in the pictures. Is it rude to ask her to wear flats when i and the other bridesmaids (also all under 5’3″) will be wearing heels? It is a really casual wedding and my sister wouldn’t mind if she wore flip-flops.
Two other things:
There is already significant drama with the wedding and my sister doesn’t want to make it worse.
My sister and her fiance’s sister are not super close enough for her to do this casually and they do not see each other often so it would have to either be a phone call/email or something to spring on the girl last minute (which I think would be very rude).
Post # 3
If all the girls are wearing the same shoes, then i would ask her to be singled out wearing a different pair that are flats, otherwise i would suggest she wear flats.
In all honesty though, my sister is much taller then me. Im 5’5 and she is over 6 ft. I just had her at the end of the party so i was never standing right beside her AND since the bride isnt that close with the girl anyways it would make most sense to have you and her besties closest.
(in this pic my sister is at the very end)
EDIT : My sister had the same HEELS on as all the girls 🙂
Post # 4
- Wedding: November 2009 - Our Lady of Grace Catholic Church (LaCoste, TX) and Mary Gray Events Center (Castroville, TX)
You’re not always standing in a line in pictures. Our wedding party ranged from a 4′-8″ bridesmaid to my 6′-7″ brother groomsman. And my 5′-10″ sister was my Maid/Matron of Honor. Though my sister didn’t wear heels, the height difference was still significant even with my shorter friends crazy high heels. It ends up being something you don’t really notice. If she’s picking matching shoes for all the wedding party that’s one thing, but if she’s letting everyone wear what they want it will end up alright. Good luck hashing it out.
Post # 5
If the bride is really that bothered by the height of her tall bridesmaid she can suggest low heel shoes for the bridesmaid but I agree that not all the pictures will be standing in a line and it can be arranged so that the tallest bridesmaid is furthest away from her. I personally dont think it matters how tall the bridesmaids are to be honest.
Post # 6
What about asking her to wear flats just for the photos?
Post # 7
I have a really tall Bridesmaid or Best Man and she’s very self-conscious about her height. I personally wouldn’t ask her to wear shorter shoes, because really, what’s another couple of inches when someone’s that much taller than you? 🙂
I definitely wouldn’t ask her to wear flip flops when the other girls are wearing heels, though, she would probably feel under dressed and like she was standing out even more. There’s really no rule that says the bride has to be the tallest out of her girls, I really think that it’s not as much of an issue as your sister might think at this point :).
Post # 8
My entire wedding party towered over me – men and women. I am 5’2″, the next in height was 5’5″ and they continued up the charts to 6’5″. Everyone wore what they want and their height was the last thing I was thinking about on my wedding day and I love my pictures.
Don’t sweat stuff like this. For real. 🙂
Post # 9
I’m barely 5’1″, and my shortest Bridesmaid or Best Man is 5’3″ and the tallest is probably 5’10”. I am asking that all the girls wear flats or low wedges (nothing over one inch). Our wedding is outdoors in the summer, so I would be perfectly fine with nice flats or dress sandals- no flip flops, though.
Honestly, none of my girls have complained. A few are happy about it- Maid/Matron of Honor has huge feet in 2 different shoe sizes b/c of an injury (making heels difficult to find), and my sister will be pregnant. They would both rather wear flats anyway.
The other two haven’t said anything about it, so I’m assuming that they don’t mind, and even if they do, I’m the bride, so they aren’t going to tell me no.
Post # 10
I am 6 feet tall and I would be very upset if someone asked me to be singled out and wear flats, because I’m too tall. I was just in a friends wedding where the shortest bride was 5’1” and I was the tallest at 6 ft….she would never ask me to wear something different.
Your sister may have 1-2 pictures where she’s standing right next to her…to me, it shouldn’t be an issue. However, this is her wedding day and these are pictures she’ll have forever as her memories. So she should do what she feels comfortable with.
Post # 11
I don’t really think it matters. All of my bridesmaids were taller than me.
Post # 12
@kimberly0407: I agree with the fact that you shouldn’t single the tall girls out- I would never ask one person to wear flats and not the others. That is why I’m asking ALL my girls to wear flats or low wedges.
However, for some people this is a big deal. I’ve always been short, and I was that kid whose friends would jokingly use her as an arm rest…. actually, FI’s Best Man still does this occasionally as a joke.
For some of us, being short automatically singles us out, and we can’t do much to fix it other than to wear painful shoes, hem all our pants, and spend an extra $100 on our wedding dresses to get them ordered to a length closer to our height.
Trust me, if I had the OPTION of wearing flats all day at my wedding, I would love to. I hate standing in heels all day. But if I don’t wear heels, I will be significantly shorter than all my bridesmaids, not to mention Fiance and his groomsman.
It’s one thing when it’s a 3-4 inch difference. It’s a whole other thing all together when you’re 5′ 3/4″ (yes, not even 5’1″) and you have groomsmen who are over 6ft tall and bridesmaids who are almost taller than your Fiance.
They might not be in many of your pictures, but you will have photos of the ceremony, and the bride has the right to look back on her pictures and not feel like a midget.
Just my personal opinion.
I think that OP has some genuine concerns, and while it is a little unfair to single out the tall Bridesmaid or Best Man at this point (she’s already found her shoes), I think that tall girls forget that short girls have gotten picked on their whole lives for being itsy and are jealous of your naturally crazy long legs.
Post # 13
I gave my bridesmaids a choice of flats or wedges. The tallest girl CHOSE to wear the flats because she is almost 6 ft tall without shoes. However, most of the short girls chose the flats and the tall girls chose the wedges. I didn’t really care about the height difference. They ranged from 4′ 11″ to almost 6′, haha. The heights were ALL over the place, but I had decided I wanted everyone to feel comfortable on my wedding day. I am short and I always opt for flats becaues I haaaate heels. I wouldn’t single her out, I’d be annoyed if I was asked to wear heels because I am short.
Post # 14
I was Maid/Matron of Honor in a wedding where the bride was only 4’11” and her sister was 5’0”… I ended up wearing flats and they both wore super high heels. I think that helped a LOT in the pictures because I towered over both of them! Maybe it was also more noticable because there was only 2 on each side of the wedding party.
I’m actually having the same issue for my own wedding now… I have almost a whole foot difference between my tallest and shortest bridesmaid – I’m on the taller end too. I think I’m going to ask the tall girls to wear flats though.
Post # 15
@tinylittlebird:that’s the thing though, tall girls have ALSO gotten picked on all their lives!! i am 5’10” and I reached that height midway through high school, you don’t know how self conscious I was at some points. i think asking the tall girl not to wear the heels she likes is a REALLY BAD idea. it is like asking a short bridesmaid to please wear 5 inch heels so you won’t be so much shorter than the bride.wouldn’t you feel insulted?
Post # 16
I am only 5’0, and my bridesmaids range from 5’2-5’10. They are all wearing heels. Why would I care if they are much taller than me? Everyone knows I am short, LOL.