Post # 1
Hey, I’m new, and I was just reading the post about long engagements and was happy to see all of the support for those on the opposite end of the spectrum from me, and was wondering who out there are on my end?
I’m hopefully getting married Dec 08, but Boyfriend or Best Friend has yet to officially ask, as he is a great believer in short engagements (I’ve been slowly talking him back from ‘four months is plenty of time!’). Is anyone else out there working with a year or less? Was it truly a spontaneous short engagement, or a planned one (ie, we know we want to get married on X date, so let’s pick a rough 6/8/10/12 months out to get engaged)?
My pet peeve about short engagement… I’ve been poking around the wedding planning world for two years now, and Boyfriend or Best Friend has given the green light for more serious planning now that we’re within the year, but no ring yet. Two of my engaged girlfriends (Aug 08 and summer 10, a short and a long) mentioned in front of me several times a coffee and wedding planning book date at Borders that they were going to do together, and made no move to invite me, even though they know (one of them very well, she’s my housemate) that Boyfriend or Best Friend and I have pencilled in December. Argh!
What are your struggles or delights about short engagements or the limbo of planning with no ring?
Post # 3
My FH and I got engaged in August last year and are getting married in June. It was a surprise for me, but I think he planned proposing at that time because he knew we had to get married in the summer (due to his work). It is a tad short, but honestly, I think I’d go crazy if it were any longer! Less than a year is still plenty of time to get things planned.
The only major disadvantage I’ve noticed is that since we are getting married at peak wedding season, a lot of reception halls were already booked. It didn’t matter to me all that much to have THE perfect venue, so it’s not a big problem. For me, I consider the whole planning process to be pretty stressful, so the shorter the time is, the better!
Post # 4
Me too! Fiance proposed end of August 07 and our wedding date is early July. I had wanted a long engagement (at least a year), but parents pushed for short. Huge disadvantages are: money and having limited selections on venue choices. Advantages: not having too many vendors to ponder over (sometimes it can be a blessings too in disguise) and not having time to procastinate (when I don’t feel the pressure, i don’t do anything) and EVERYONE asking me "why so fast? you’re not pregnant are you?". Annoying..the engagement period is a little over 10 months!
Don’t worry, things work out for themselves. Everything’s falling into place for me, so its been wonderful! Good luck to you all!
Post # 5
My Fiance proposed end of October 07 and my wedding date is early June 08. So it’s about 7.5 months engagement for us. But we had been talking about having a very small wedding either in our backyard or go for destination wedding since before he proposed.
After consulting everyone’s schedule we decided to have the wedding at home with only 40 guests. That makes it a little simpler for me because we already have the venue. BUT, there are other aspects that need to be considered with having the wedding at home. When you rent a venue you probably don’t have to think about lighting, chair and table rentals, kitchen equipment for the caterer, etc.
Advantages: I don’t have to go crazy for a long period of time thinking about wedding planning. Seriously, I can’t sleep thinking about how to light and string my paper lanterns above the pool.
Disadvantages: A lot of vendors are booked already. Luckily we got the green light from all of our guests to have the wedding on Friday instead of Saturday or Sunday. A lot of vendors will give you discounts for Friday weddings. That saved us some $$$
Post # 6
I got engaged this Christmas morning and am getting married this summer and It’s plenty of time. my friends who didn’t live together before and had long engagements told me afterwards they wish they had shorter ones. those that were already living together, I guess it didn’t really matter in the same way if it was 7 months or 12 or 15….. I love having a short engagement, its all very exciting and people will still be excited for us this summer when we get married rather then it being a year or two away still. I knew a ring was coming, we talked a lot about our future. it meant that while I wasn’t ‘officially’ engaged I was able to start thinking about what I wanted… which is making these months of real planning easier. I liked the period before the ring- in our minds we were engaged, but it was only about us. No friends, no vendors,etc. It was like a secret. So enjoy! and congratulations. I hope you embrace the short engagement because its very exciting.
Post # 7
We were engaged 6/25/07 and married 10/05/07 – 3.5 months. Doable? Absolutely. We decided on the wedding date based on our travel schedules and when our choice vendors (country inn for ceremony and reception and pastor to officiate) were available. Everything else fell into place.
There are pros and cons to a short engagement, for sure. I wasn’t hung up on my dress (although I did love and still love it), nor did we have a big wedding party (only one attendant each plus 2 FGs and 1 furry RB). I did almost all planning and projects myself, my mom and sis did help with the escort cards, menus and programs one lovely weekend day. DH helped when his travel schedule allowed: researching bakers, setting appointments and attending tastings.
Three months and change later, there is very little we would have changed about our wedding day.
Had the engagement lasted much longer we would have seriously driven ourselves crazy.
Post # 8
well, i understand what you mean…i started "mock planning" our wedding the middle of last year. gathering real data and real ideas….yet i had no ring. the ring didn’t come until 12/31/07. we are shooting for November 1, 2008 (pending venue) and i really felt that 10 mos was puh-lenty of time.
yet, the ‘rents seem a bit concerned.
oh well…at first it bothered me…everyone in my family that heard was like "so soon? why the rush?" and i couldnt help but 2nd guess our plans….. but we picked November for a reason. it fits best within OUR plans, and so I am moving forward accordingly.
one thing i will say: when we finally became officially engaged, my mind went blank! seriously! all the planning that I had done went slam out the window. but its slowly coming back to me, so if that happens to you, dont panic.
Post # 9
i got engaged ("officially") in december 07, but i’d been planning since september for a september 08 wedding. we had the venue, dress and planner before it was official (aka before i had the ring). i just knew i wanted a fall wedding, and i didn’t want to wait 2 years to be married! we’d also been together for 5+ years though, and everyone was pretty much expecting it, so we didn’t get any snarky comments.
Post # 10
I got engaged the end of 11/07 and the wedding is beginning of April 08, so that left less than 5 months of planning. My mom was a bit nervous about the amount of planning time- but if you consider it a BIG PARTY and not a full on wedding- it doesn’t sound so daunting.
Sure you need to be a little bit more flexible on where and some of the other details. We are getting married at a private house- but we didn’t get some of our other first choices (dj, etc) But the main thing is we’re getting married and thats all that counts!
if you gather up a little wish list- of vendors/ design ideas, etc- then you are ahead of the game.
Its totally Doable! and actually a bit easier as you don’t have all that time to 2nd guess and be wishy washy about the decisions you make.
Post # 11
We got engaged the beginning of March this year and are getting married the end of August, so about 5.5 months for us. I always thought I’d be engaged at LEAST 6 months and there were several people who said it was too fast (both the engagement and now the wedding). I even talked to my fiance once about moving the date until later (he’d have made it even earlier if I’d let him :-P), but I talked to several friends who all had short engagements and none of them regretted it. In fact, some even said it’s better that way because once you know, why wait longer just to "test" it? And now the closer we get to the wedding the more sure I am. At this point, three more months of waiting feels like a long time 😀
Post # 12
yeah we have a short engagement, 5 months, our family wasn’t thrilled about such a short engagement, my sis suggested a lon gone because we’re long-distance; that just delays the hwole process and makes it more painful, how can I be with him if he’s not here, we can’t move unless we’re married (we are inter-continental)
his family was the same, why so fast
well, two reasons, we decided, we’re long distance and intercontinental, we want to have kids I’m already 38, plus we love each other why delay
everything is a gamble
you can be with someone 1 year or 10 years you still don’t know how it will turn out
pros: you need to be decisive, luckily I always knew what I wanted so it’s not hard to make decisions
cons: I can’t enjoy the sound of being engaged, saying "my fiance", enjoying my engagement ring; I’ll be getting my ring 2 months before our wedding
aw, well, minor snag, the important thing is we want to be with each other, we’re in love and we are putting in 100%