Short or long engagements?

posted 2 years ago in Engagement
Post # 16
Member
10524 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

20 minutes – nah not really, more like 20 days. We planned nuffink.

Post # 17
Member
8409 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I don’t understand the concept of “preferring” short or long engagements. I always assumed people were engaged for however long it took them to get married. People who want or need to get married quickly and are able to make that happen, have a short engagement. People who are in no rush or for whatever reason need extra time, they have a long engagement. Do people actually schedule their wedding based on how long of an engagement they want rather than on how soon they want (and are able) to get married?

Post # 18
Member
83 posts
Worker bee

I consider short to be 6m or less. I consider long to be 2yrs or more. Anything in between to me is just right.

Post # 19
Member
1485 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

Our engagement was a year and a half, we got engaged in February and wanted a Sept wedding, we wanted to pay for our wedding outright and our honeymoon so 6 months wasn’t enough time for us, plus I felt a little longer engagement would be fun so we could just relish in our fiancé titles a bit! 

Post # 20
Member
4656 posts
Honey bee

We will be engaged over 2 years.  We are older, second marriage, no plans for kids, etc.  his youngest son is currently deployed and we want to wait for him to come home.

 

Post # 21
Member
2740 posts
Sugar bee

About 18-19 months  He had moved in at about 8 months and I wanted to be sure my boys were OK  with the marriage  If they hadn’t I would have still dated him, but wouldn”t have included him family things like marriages and christenings–more intimate things.

Post # 22
Member
2204 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

View original reply
jaydeeplatinum :  same. We had to save up as we paid for our wedding and honeymoon with cash along with the costs of moving in together and we had a 13 month engagement. We also loved that time together as fiancés, it really is a special and exciting time and it ends up passing so quickly!  

Post # 23
Member
1355 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019 - Turkey

We had a 14 month engagement, most of the wait was to plan our lives and out home and renovating it. It really depends on people but I’m happy we kept it longer because in the meanwhile we’ve gone through so much and learnt about each other a lot more.

I’d say keep longer if you’ve decided to get married soon into relationship, and not so needed to have a long engagement when you’ve been together maybe 10 years already. At least, that’s my take on it. 

Post # 24
Member
196 posts
Blushing bee

I actually prefer long enhancement so no stressed planning wedding, but SO doesn’t think like that 😂

when I told him I want a wedding in 2 years, he disagreed straight away, so we end up with a year long only. I still feel like no time to plan for wedding but it’s getting there since we change from a big wedding to a smaller one.

Post # 25
Member
1274 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2018 - UK

We were engaged for 10 months because that’s how long it took to plan the wedding. If we’d had to save up more then it would have been a longer engagement!

 I didn’t personally feel like being engaged was a particular “stage” in our relationship, nothing changed between us other than that we were wedding planning. It was just a necessary transitional phase between being boyfriend/girlfriend and being husband/wife. 

I can’t say I’ve ever had a particular opinion either way ion the length of engagement for other couples.

Post # 26
Member
861 posts
Busy bee

We were only engaged for 5 months, but had been living together for 2 years already, and wanted a very small wedding which we had already saved for. So basically once we had our official engagement we were just engaged for the length of time it took to plan our wedding. 

Post # 27
Member
559 posts
Busy bee

whatever works for the couple.  we had an 18 month engagement, mostly due to some big life events like graduation, moving to a new state, and starting new jobs that took precedence over wedding planning.  even if we had wanted a shorter timeline, though, we were limited by our venue’s availability– it’s very popular and was booked up over a year in advance.

Post # 28
Member
57 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2023 - Chateau Saint Georges, Grasse, France

My SO and I are planning to get married in 2023. A colleague heard this and said, “Why 2023 – when you’re not together anymore??” He was being an asshat, but my SO and I have only known each other for a little over a year and we need to save money, hence the long engagement. 

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