(Closed) Short or longer engagement?! need advice

posted 5 years ago in Engagement
  • poll: 8 months or 16 months engagement?

    8 months

    16 months

  • Post # 2
    Member
    1199 posts
    Bumble bee

    See if you can find a venue first. If so, go with the 8 months! October is not the most popular month, so you might have some luck. I’m having a 10 month engagement, and honestly we could have easily done the planning in 8 πŸ™‚

    Post # 3
    Member
    138 posts
    Blushing bee

    Personally, I like feeling like I have enough time to plan so I would opt for the May 2017 wedding. That said, I agree with PP. Depending on where you live, the venue prices for an October wedding could be substantially cheaper than a May wedding. My best friend’s sister was planning a June wedding in our hometown, but the venue she had her heart set on was almost double the cost in June than in October/November, so she got married in October. (You might even be able to off-set the cost and hire someone to help you with a few of the planning or organizational details if you go with October). Either way, definitely give the venues a good hard look for October. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    299 posts
    Helper bee

    My engagement will be 15 months by the time we get married (it’s been 11 so far) and it feels like it’s taking forever in a lot of ways, but flying by in others. I wouldn’t mind just being married to my Fiance by now! Also a longer engagement means more opportunity/time for drama and issues to arise.

    If the 8 months is feasible for your venue and vendors you like, I would definitely choose that one.

    Post # 5
    Member
    2668 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2016

    I would start with finding a venue first – you may not be able to get a date that suits you in October, so you might have to push the wedding to May 2017 anyway. At the end of the day, it’s whatever you and your Fiance feel most comfortable doing.

    I’m having a 14 month engagement and this feels fine to us – we feel that we’ve had ample time to celebrate being engaged before jumping into planning. I feel that 8 months would’ve felt too rushed for us. A friend of mine recently got married after a 24 month engagement, as they wanted to wait until her now-husband had finished his apprenticeship. Another friend got engaged exactly a week after me and is having a 9 month engagement because she’s getting married in Scotland and wanted a particular time of year there.

    Post # 6
    Hostess
    1707 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    My engagement was 18 months. That enabled us to save more and be less worried about costs. We payed for everything, and a longer engagement meant a wedding that was closer to our dream wedding. By planning so far in advance, we were also able to secure a discount rate with our venue and some other vendors. 

    Plus, I travel a lot for work, so I was glad to have the extra time to take care of stuff. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    3899 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2017

    View original reply
    jennflo: I vote for long. We got engaged May 17th 2015 and getting married in July 7th 2017 that’s a 25.5 months. I dont like to feel rushed, we are saving money and trying to lose weight… I started a new job in Oct so lots of stress and adjustments… im very happy that our engagement is long.

    Post # 8
    Member
    10541 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2016

    I’m having a 13 month engagement and I really wish we had cut that in half. I’m sick of planning and waiting to be married and just want to be married already! I couldn’t imagine having an even longer engagement, I would absolutely hate it!

    Post # 9
    Member
    493 posts
    Helper bee

    We are doing ours in 8 – tons of time.  I find the more time you have, the more idle time you have to spend more money on stupid things.  After we booked our venue everything else was easy.  There are only a few major decisions you have make right away (after the venue), photographer, band, dress. Then 6 months out florist, caterer, baker etc.  after that you seriously twiddle your thuMbps until you send invites. However, if finances are an issue and you need to save, then do longer.   i have found 8 months is seriously the perfect amount of time.

    Post # 10
    Member
    393 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: January 2016

    We did ours in six months and so happy to be married instead of stressing over party planning! Don’t forget what’s really important at the end of the day and that’s marrying your partner in life!

    Post # 11
    Member
    731 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2016

    I vote 8.  We’ll have been engaged for under 11 months when we get married and it still feels like forever!  Besides, I ordered my dress in January and it’s coming in May, so I bet you’ll be able to find a dress.  Just start looking for venues now πŸ™‚

    Post # 12
    Member
    579 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    I vote 8 months. I had a choice of either 6 months getting married in September, or around a year doing it in April, and we went with 6 months. I’m glad we did because I’m sitting here married now instead of still waiting! It’s completely do-able, find a venue first, then just get organised, make to do lists, and stick to your decisions.

    Post # 13
    Member
    4235 posts
    Honey bee

    View original reply
    meandmrbee15:  +1

    8mos should be sufficient time.

     

    Post # 14
    Member
    9575 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2015

    If time is not a pressing issue (ie late thirties, want baby) id do the long engagement. It’s a fun time you’ll never get back and if you’re planning a wedding with all the bells and whistles it’s nice to take your time selecting vendors, making decisions, doing projects.

    Post # 15
    Member
    116 posts
    Blushing bee

    If you can afford it in October and can find a venue, I’d say go with shorter. We are getting married on Sept 24th and just started planning in late November. We were engaged in early October and originally planned to get married in spring of 2017 to save more money, but then we visited our venue and couldn’t imagine having to wait a year and a half to get married there! I got a lot done (venue, photographer, coordinator, contact with caterers) in the first month of planning and actually took all of January off because work was super stressful. However, we are only contributing 10-12k while our families are helping a lot (huge family…most of that money is going to food :/). We are just so ready to be married, we already call each other husband and wife at home πŸ™‚ 

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