(Closed) Short or longer engagement?! need advice

posted 5 years ago in Engagement
  • poll: 8 months or 16 months engagement?

    8 months

    16 months

  • Post # 16
    Member
    462 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2016

    My fiancé and I have been engaged for 5 years lol. He proposed 6 months after we started dating. We are now getting married in September this year. I feel like 15 months would be a better time frame. I wouldn’t advise waiting as long as me of course lol, but one thing I’ve learned is that my “dream wedding” ideals have changed SO much since we first got engaged. I think having a longer engagement will allow you to carefully select what you really want for a venue, florist, music, ect without just picking whatever is available in a short amount of time. I have friends who had short engagements and they both regret it because looking back there are some things they wanted but couldn’t get because there wasn’t enough time, or they didn’t have time to properly save for it. 

    Post # 17
    Hostess
    4636 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 2016

    We’re getting married October 2016 and booked all of our vendors May/June 2015, so I would be concerned that you’ll have very few choices if you’re looking to book such a popular month less than a year out. We are in the middle of our 17 month engagement and I have to say, it has flown by. I think timewise it’s definitely possible to plan a wedding in less than 8 months (we planned most everything last summer), but to have more options with vendors and more time to get engagement pictures for save the dates, hotel blocks (I struggled to get hotel blocks 12 months in advance as many were booked), dress (ordered in November, is expected to arrive in June), etc. it would probably benefit you more to wait until May 2017. We are getting married right before our 9 year anniversary, so we’re eager to get married, but wanted a fall wedding and great vendors. 16 months will fly by!

    Post # 18
    Member
    301 posts
    Helper bee

    Get the venue, get the photographer. If you can get them for this October that’s great and if not, you know your answer. I got engaged Feb 2014 and having an October wedding was a MUST. I could not get a venue or a photographer for the life of me so our engagement was around 20 months. The bonus of that was I was really unhappy in my job and looking to leave, so I afforded myself the opportunity to do so. Also, the year and a half FLEW by and we paid cash for our wedding. 

    Post # 19
    Member
    646 posts
    Busy bee

    Venue is the main thing. We’ve had a 14 month engagement and, when we booked our venue, all weekends in March were free. By October last year when we had a tasting, she told us that every Saturday and Sunday was booked now. 

    Otherwise I could have happily done it all in 4 or 5 months. We didn’t need to save, and I think planning has a habit of expanding to fill the time you have to plan. 

    Post # 20
    Member
    152 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2016

    I voted 8 months because personally, I wish I was getting married much sooner but due to my work schedule and my FI’s mom’s ability to only take vacation in July we’re having to go with July (although I wanted to do April or May originally). I would say the first few weeks of being engaged were the most stressful because you had to pick a date, look at venues, caterers, etc. Once I found the place, my dress, and booked the caterer everything else seemed way smaller and less stressful.

     

    Again, this is just what I would do personally but you should do what you feel is right. There is no right or wrong answer!

    Post # 21
    Member
    622 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2016

    Congrats on your engagement! I’d say it mostly depends on your financial situation. Do you need time to save up or do you have pretty much everything set aside? If you have the money already, go with 8 months. I had a 14 month engagement (getting married next week!) and as soon as we got engaged we planned our savings for the wedding and put a certain dollar amount into our joint savings each month. It worked out great and was a good amount of time for us, although sometimes it seemed like it was going by so slowly. If you’re already overwhelmed at the thought of planning everything in 8 months, that’s also a really good reason to go with a 2017 date. Stress can really put a damper on enjoying your engagement.

    Post # 22
    Member
    1304 posts
    Bumble bee

     

    I’m a fan of shorter engagements personally (mine is about 7 months). If you can get a venue and photographer for your date, then everything else is pretty easy IMO.

    Post # 23
    Member
    853 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    I think you should find your favorite venue and see what dates are available (and also what it will cost) before you decide. We got engaged in April and married in September because we wanted to have really good weather but no crowds on the beach and the weekend we rented the beach house was the first of the “off season” pricing so it saved us money. Also consider what kind of wedding you envision . Are you getting married outside? Do you want to take advantage of blooming landscaping or holiday decorations that may already be up? All these things, along with your budget and savings plan can help you make up your mind. Remember that weddings usually go over budget, the odds and ends and last minute things add up.

    Post # 24
    Member
    524 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    I vote for short. I think 8 months is plenty of time. 

    In my area though October is the peak season so minimums/prices are more $$$ than what they are in September and a lot of places are getting booked now. 

    Post # 25
    Member
    4888 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    View original reply
    jennflo:  I planned a great wedding in 8 months! And, it was actually 7 once we got venues booked since I waited a month before doing any of that (but researched like crazy).

    I first contacted any venues we thought of having our reception at to get their available dates for that Fall and the following spring. A couple of them had a lot of Fall open dates left, so it was easy from there. We got lucky that our other vendors also had openings, and it all worked out.

    You mainly do a lot of stuff right away (book a ton of vendors, wedding dress and bridal party shop), then sit for a few months. I didn’t start doing more until 2 months before the wedding after I got invites out. It’s doable!!

    Add: And I should say… we got enaged on February 15 and got married on October 17 of the same year, so you still have some time on the timeframe we had! Our venue was booked n March 31.

    • This reply was modified 4 years, 9 months ago by  Kacie209.
    Post # 26
    Member
    22 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    We’ve been engaged since July and we’re not getting married til this October. I have almost everything planned, and just waiting to buy stuff. Honestly, I wish we had a shorter engagement, but It’s also been nice because we’ve been able to save up a lot of money. It kind of depends on who’s paying for it! 

    Post # 27
    Member
    893 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

     Our engagement was 4 months, and that was PLENTY of time.  We had no problems at all – I basically had everything done in the first 3 weeks or so.  I wouldn’t have wanted a long enagement.  16 months seems WAY too long to me.  I guess I don’t get the whole “enjoy being engaged!  enjoy planning!” stuff.  Being engaged just wasn’t a thing for me – just a necessary step towards getting married.  I didn’t need to enjoy it – I wanted to be married!  And enjoy planning???  Maybe for other people, but not for me.  It was a necessary evil.

    Post # 28
    Member
    614 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    We got engaged in April 2015 and married in Oct 2015. I wanted a Fall wedding so my choices were a 6 month engagment or 1.5 year engagment! I didnt want to wait that long… So 6 months it was! The initial, getting everything booked, was stressfull but after that it wasnt too bad. I thought 6 months was perfect and I think 8 months is totally doable, I say go for it! Happy Planning!

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