(Closed) Short vs. Long engagement?

posted 6 years ago in Logistics
  • poll: What is the best legnth for an engagement?
    less than 1 year : (115 votes)
    33 %
    1 - 1.5 years : (152 votes)
    44 %
    1.5 years to 2 years : (58 votes)
    17 %
    2+ years : (23 votes)
    7 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2725 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    It is very stressful. I actually moved mine up from August to April and the scaled planning way back. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    7312 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

    I don’t think there is one right answer to this question. It’s all about what works best for your relationship and your guests. If you want a destination wedding and want lots of people to be able to attend, then a 1+ year engagement is necessary so that people have time to save $ and request vacation days. If you want to run to the courthouse ASAP, all you need to worry about is the waiting time between getting your marriage license and saying “I do”. You could pretty much skip the engagement period alltogether! If you want a lavish wedding, it may take years to save up enough money to pay for it. But maybe $5000 and a backyard BBQ is more your thing. It’s really all about your needs and wants.

    Post # 5
    Member
    3720 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I am a planner, love planning, and could easily have planned a wedding in a week like my mother did (no lie– she did all wedding planning in one weekend while she was in grad school, had a holiday wedding after a 6 month engagement, and it was perfect). I would easily have been able to do a 6 month engagement (my church’s minimum), but I needed a summer wedding due to my family’s jobs and my Fiance timed our engagement so we would miss the last opportunity for a summer wedding by a week. So we are having a 17 month engagement.

    If you can find a venue and vendors and are flexible with not getting your first choice with everything and sometimes paying a little more, go for the short engagement. For me, the perk of a year and a half engagement is that almost no one is booked. I get to shop around and can try to save money. You may not get your first choice of everything, but with a little flexibility you can save yourself a lot of headaches that come with everyone giving you their feddback on what you should do.

    Post # 6
    Member
    1902 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Me and Fiance are having a 10 month engagement from proposal on Christmas day to wedding date in October – I don’t think I could bear to wait any longer with the planning, in a sense ‘just get it over with’ is about right!

    Post # 7
    Member
    1629 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    Our engagement was 17 months and that was way, way too long. It felt like it would never end. I got chubby after I purchased my wedding dress. I think I gave myself health problems from living with that stress for so long. There was no momentum for getting anything done. And the family drama just draaaaagggggeed. I would recommend going shorter.

    Post # 8
    Member
    4194 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

    Ours is exactly 6 months- Jan to July. I would have preferred being married in April or October, but we went with the availability our venue had, and also did a shorter engagement due to an older parent’s health concerns.

    A wedding can be planned in a short time period- you just can’t second guess yourself. I see posts from bees that they’ve changed their wedding colors 3 times- I picked my colors, and didn’t look back. I bought the 12th dress I tried on-a sample. We’re keeping things simple- I love the look of brooch bouquets, for example, but there’s not time, so we’re DIY-ing calla liliies.

    I have 3 other friends that had 6 month engagements, and it worked well for them, too. You just have to be a little flexible, and you can’t be indecisive.

    Post # 9
    Member
    672 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    Mine will be just over 16 months total and its too long!! When we first got engaged I was sooo excited (obviously!) and set the date & booked the venue. I was obsessed with looking online and in magazines but knew it was too early to do much else. I calmed down and by the time about I should have been calling/booking stuff (6-9 months pre), I just was not into it and over the whole thing. Now that I’m only 3 months away, I have tons to do and everything is left to the last minute, errr 3 months. We also wanted a summer wedding (got engaged in Feb) and that upcoming summer was too soon so did 16 months later. I would recommend maybe 9-14 months of engagement if possible

    Post # 10
    Member
    1459 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I think it depends on you guys and the kind of wedding you want. Ours is 6 months, which I guess is somewhat short, but it’s been great so far (3.5 months in). One thing that helps is we’ve been thinking about what we want for a year or so. There seems to be enougth time to do everything we want to, and to take breaks when we don’t feel like it anymore, but not so much that we’re getting bored. A friend of mine got engaged right after us and is getting married a month or so before us, and she seems really stressed, so it just depends on what you want and how much time you need to get it done. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    9627 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2019

    I would love to have a 1year to 2 year engagement, but due to our circumstances it will be 3-4 years

    Post # 12
    Member
    1798 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I had a very short engagment (~3 months) and it really wasn’t enough time for me. Before getting engaged I didn’t have any real plans and hadn’t thought much about what I really wanted the wedding to be, so I ended up rushing into planning what I thought it should be, only to realize later on that I should have done it completely differently.

    Bottom line: If you know what you want and have started nailing down the big vendors, then a short engagement can be very nice. Otherwise, I think more time is better.

    Post # 13
    Member
    2065 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    Ours was a 9 month engagement but I did the planning in about 8 months since we didn’t book the venue/set a date until April for our December wedding. It felt just a tad too long for us personally, by about October it was like “OH MY GOD are we not married yet?!” It all depends on how elaborate of a wedding you want and on you guys personally as a couple.

    Post # 14
    Member
    500 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

     I think being ” engaged” is actively planning a wedding in the soon to near future.  Idont understand being engaged for 5 years. If you can afford and have the time to get married within 6 months of the engagement than you should do it, I got engaged Christmas of 2010 and I am getting married in May. I knew I wanted a spring wedding at the time and getting married within 5 months of beingproposed to was going to be financially impossible. So we waited until this year, which would be 17 months exactly. 

     

    Post # 15
    Member
    224 posts
    Helper bee

    we’re were in that situation and knew the time of year we wanted to get married – so we booked it first!

    bit crazy, but i didn’t want an engagement to last over a year and i need ample time to plan. so we’ve booked for September 2013 and we’ll be getting ‘officially engaged’ by this September.

    i’m a mega planner though and he understands that. and luckily we both wanted the same venue for our reception so we wanted to book it early so we didn’t miss out and have to wait another year!

    Post # 16
    Member
    4887 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    16 months for me as well.  I’m at month 14 and I’m SO READY TO BE DONE.  Oh my god.  Between all the new ideas you can get, the changes of trends, the family involvement and just the feeling that I’ve been engaged FOREVER I’ve kind of had it.  If I could have a do-over I would’ve had a 9 month engagement and gotten married in the fall.

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