(Closed) Shot down FI's only wedding idea and I feel terrible…

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: What should I do?
    Suck it up and play the breakup song at your wedding. It's his wedding too. : (21 votes)
    27 %
    Encourage him to think of other things he wants in the wedding, and find another song. : (56 votes)
    73 %
  • Post # 3
    4948 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    Ask him if there’s another song he’d like to have – one with a positive message.

    Post # 4
    2116 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    Perhapse use an instrumental version of the song instead? Compromise?

    Post # 5
    8882 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    I’d feel bad too but I would have done the same thing.  I would definitely let him know you appreciate him wanting to help and ask him to think of some other songs.

    (If it helps, my mom kept begging me to put “Part of Me” by Katy Perry on our list but because it’s a break-up song I refused. She got over it).

    Post # 6
    75 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    I’d go with the instrumental version, since that is likely what he likes about the song anyway. Or ask him for another song idea.

    Post # 7
    458 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    What you should have said:

    “I just love that song too!!!! It really sounds like a breakup song though, I wonder if there’s any other songs out there that had both lyrics AND amazing music? What do you think about this song _____”



    Post # 8
    46594 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I would surprise him with an instrumental version of the song.

    Post # 10
    1416 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    Play it during the reception and dance to it and laugh about it. Ceremony should be strictly about love, but reception is just about good music!

    Post # 11
    4518 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I like the idea of playing an instrumental version, or maybe you can play this song during the reception at some prominent time?

    I don’t think you did the wrong thing — it would be weird to walk down the aisle to this song.

    Post # 12
    3182 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    There were a lot of songs that I felt were inappropriate for the ceremony for similar reasons so I played them during dinner instead. Little lion man was one, we didn’t realize it would be so loud   during dinner. Whoops!

    Post # 13
    6256 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: March 2014

    I’d try and enourage him to think of other things for the wedding, but if he can’t maybe use it anyway. I’ve been to several weddings with breakup songs slipped in–including one where the first dance was the Jeff Buckley version of Hallelujah–and mostly people are too busy eating, talking, or watching the wedding unfold to really notice too much. I notice because I am really into lyrics, but I didn’t notice anyone raising their eyebrows or whispering or whatever.

    I’d recommend having it maybe at the reception, though, and not as a walk-back-down-the-aisle song.  Did you already have something else in mind?

    Post # 14
    8041 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2013

    @AdriannaJean:  Do all wedding songs have to be happy/romantic? Obviously I wouldn’t pick this song for your first dance, but is it so bad to simply have music you love there?

    If I was having a wedding (we’re eloping) and couldn’t play any sad songs, that would be like 80% of the songs I like right off the playlist lol.

    I haven’t been to a ton of weddings but aren’t there usually a mix of songs?

    Post # 15
    10366 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    If you only played pro-relationship music that is happy, helthy, and balanced….you probably won’t be dancing. The song has no bearing on your relationship. Good music is good music. You should let him have this one.

    Post # 16
    524 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I would definitely recommend still playing it, but at the reception. I think talking it out is a great compromise: tell him why you don’t want it at the ceremony, and see if there’s another song he’d rather have. Hopefully he’ll have other wedding ideas later–my fiance has had ones that have surprised me–so you won’t feel like you rejected his ONLY one!

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