(Closed) Should a 7:30pm wedding mostly solve the No Kids policy?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 18
Member
657 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

View original reply
@mousepeach:  Just read your update after I posted, so I figured I would respond to that. I don’t think lying is a good idea – think of how many people will have to be in on the lie.

I would just say straight up that after careful consideration, you have decided to keep it adults only. Or that you want to invite the parents to a evening out without the kids. Or that because of the late start time, you feel it would be more appropriate to keep it adults only.

Pushy parents aren’t going to stop at you – they’re going to get a “no kids” from you, then they’ll go to your parents (or your FI’s), then the aunts, uncles, friends, anyone who will listen. If you say it’s a venue restriction (which most won’t buy anyway), you’ve got to make sure that everyone says the same thing. I just see it getting out of hand quick.

At the end of the day, it’s your wedding and you are allowed to invite (or not invite) whomever you chose. People will either be ok with that, or they will decide not to attend. I think child free weddings are becoming more the norm though, so maybe that will make it easier….

Good luck!

Post # 19
Member
2529 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Have you ever been to a Dave and Busters at like 11pm or later on a weekend?
Children. Running, screaming, playing, crying. All ages. Everywhere.

Some parents just don’t care about bedtime.

 

Post # 20
Member
4522 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

View original reply
@lh526:  +1

View original reply
@mousepeach:  Won’t do a damn thing. We went to a wedding this last weekend with a 7pm ceremony (started around 7:30): toddlers and young children where there until the reception shut down around 12:30.

Despite the fact that far less than 100 people had killed 4 kegs and like 10 cases of wine, there were still children running around the dance floor. I felt guilty even drinking. SMH.

Post # 21
Member
838 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2008

@mousepeach:  It would probably solve the no kids issue. The problem is that it would probably (at least for me) solve the issue of having me come as well. 

Post # 22
Member
1926 posts
Buzzing bee

Definitely make it clear that your wedding is ADULTS ONLY. Most parents just assume that everyone adores their little bundles of joy and they are of course invited to EVERYTHING. Yeah, no. 

Post # 24
Member
838 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2008

View original reply
@mousepeach:  So long as you don’t get offended if people prefer to say home, then I say go for it. Just make sure you mean it when you say it and there isn’t a subsequent… I can’t believe XXX said they weren’t coming because they couldn’t bring their child post.

Post # 26
Member
13362 posts
Honey Beekeeper

It’s considered rude to the guests who know how to read an invitation to write anything on an invitation other than offering hospitality.  That includes Adults Only or No Children Allowed This Means You.  The only thing you can do is to contact anyone you think may have an issue with childcare and offer suggestions.  If you can manage a babysitter on or near the premises that would be a bonus. 

Post # 28
Member
290 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

No it won’t be clear – people are ridiculous about their children. You will just have tired and cranky kids there, lol. I would make it clear that it’s an adults only event to be sure 🙂

Post # 29
Member
13362 posts
Honey Beekeeper

View original reply
@mousepeach:  I guess if I’m going to risk any misunderstanding, I’d rather not risk it with the subset of guests who would tend to  feel put off by the wording.  At least that’s how I see things.  If things are still unclear to some people, I can call them on an individual basis to clarify things and offer childcare alternatives. 

 

Post # 30
Member
231 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I echo what’s already been said — we would’ve assumed the same thing for our 7 p.m. ceremony, what with dinner not being served until 8:45 and the reception running into the wee hours.  But I think some parents don’t see it the way the bride might! 

None of our friends assumed they could bring their kids, but we figured (accurately) that out relatives would.  So we called them individually before the invitations went out to explain that it was an adults-only wedding.  A couple of them were disappointed, but they understood and still attended, even those who were traveling and needed to arrange childcare for the weekend.  One of my cousins (who has three kids) even thanked me later — it was the first time in a long time that she had a whole weekend to enjoy time with her husband and adult conversations with her family!  Good luck!

Post # 31
Member
1066 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

Like others have said, the time alone will not be enough.

My ex’s brother got marred on New Year’s Eve and had a later reception as well.  What happened was that people that had kids either declined (very hard to get a babysitter on NYE!) or just brought their un-invited kids with.  Fortunately the bride figured some guests would just bring their kids with (even though the invitation said Adults Only Reception) and had a babysitter at the venue just in case.

The topic ‘Should a 7:30pm wedding mostly solve the No Kids policy?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors