Post # 1
Member
1537 posts
Bumble bee
In your opinion does family (meaning literal blood family) always trump friends when it comes to Maid/Matron of Honor. For example if a girl has sisters nd a BFF even if she is closer to her BFF should she always go with her sister based on principle because that is her sister and family always comes first or do you think it should be based on who you are closer to? Personally I think it depends when my very best friend since 3rd grade got married last year I was Maid/Matron of Honor and she has one younger and one older sister and when I was asked to be Maid/Matron of Honor I felt so honored but I expected to be a bridesmaid and I thought her older sister would be Maid/Matron of Honor. Knowing her family I thought the fact that she chose a friend over family she would receive a lot of crap so I even told her if she changes her mind or it causes issues in her family I would totally understand and be a bridesmaid instead of Maid/Matron of Honor. Come to find her sisters were actually relieved they didnt have all of the pressure of Maid/Matron of Honor. Personally I think Maid/Matron of Honor should go to who you feel closest to and not necessarily blood relation sometimes that may intertwine but if it doesn’t I don’t think just being blood gives you a ticket to be in someones bridal party. I see a lot of posts which seem to imply that just because someone is family they must come first. What do you think should Maid/Matron of Honor always go to a sister if the bride has one or..?
Post # 2
Member
10368 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
No one should be obligated to ask anyone to have a specific role in their wedding. Ask the people closest to you, it doesn’t matter if they are family or friends.
Post # 3
Member
515 posts
Busy bee
While my sister and I aren’t exactly best friends, my 3 closest friends and I are such a tight group that I’d feel bad choosing one of them over the others because I love them all the same. In a way, having a sister is a nice scapegoat to not having to choose between friends because people would think it’s perfectly reasonable to have your sister as Maid/Matron of Honor anyway haha.
Post # 4
Member
1537 posts
Bumble bee
TeacherBee323 : That’s a good point. It’s a lot easier to get your feelings hurt if someone chose another friend over you for Maid/Matron of Honor but when it’s a sister chosen it kind of just assumed that’s the default person who is going to be chosen because it’s her sister.
Post # 5
Member
767 posts
Busy bee
Definitely not!!! My sister chose a friend be her Maid/Matron of Honor and I was very relieved. We’re not that close.
Post # 6
Member
2802 posts
Sugar bee
- Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle
Nope. I wasn’t my sister’s Maid/Matron of Honor and she wasn’t mine (we were bridesmaids for each other though!). Didn’t cause any problems.
Post # 7
Member
2259 posts
Buzzing bee
I chose my best friend. I have 3 sisters and im not about to pick a favourite
Post # 8
Member
116 posts
Blushing bee
I was a bridesmaid but not Maid/Matron of Honor in my sister’s wedding. We lived too far apart at the time and I was too busy for planning a whole bunch of stuff. I think the Maid/Matron of Honor should be someone you are not only close to but also can be there for you during planning and everything leading up to the wedding. If your sister is the most involved in helping you out, I think you should consider it. However, if your friend is more involved then choose your friend for sure.
Post # 9
Member
94 posts
Worker bee
- Wedding: August 2019 - Santa Barbara, CA
I am very close to my sister now (within the last 5 years) but I picked a close cousin as my maid of honor. It was tricky picking but ultimately my cousin grew up with me, we have fun memories/adventures growing up, and she’s closer to my age & it’s easier for her to relate & plan/coordinate the wedding events. My sister is just learning to be on her own etc. and would probably be overwhelmed with the planning a Maid/Matron of Honor would have to do.
Post # 10
Member
9231 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
I only had one of my sisters as a bridesmaid and she wasn’t my moh, that was my closest friend. I didn’t even invite one of my sister’s to my wedding. Blood does not equal close and blood does not mean you can overlook that they are a horrible human being.
Post # 11
Member
13885 posts
Honey Beekeeper
Since Maid/Matron of Honor is an honor title which carries with it no real additional “responsibilities,” I don’t see the need for only one Maid/Matron of Honor. For example, I don’t buy into the idea that a MOH’s “job” is to host or plan parties.
So, assuming decent relationships, if there are several sisters or sister in laws and one or more close friends, I don’t see why you have to choose just one. I personally would not.
I’d feel the same way if there are several close friends, and no one who is the clear and obvious choice. There’s no obligation to choose just one.
Post # 12
Member
30 posts
Newbee
No…I have 3 sisters none are even in my wedding (which is another story). My BFF and I have been friends for 20+ years and she is my Maid/Matron of Honor. I can’t imagine her not being my Maid/Matron of Honor.
Post # 13
Member
2976 posts
Sugar bee
Nope. Your Maid/Matron of Honor is the person you feel closest with aside from your spouse to be. Sometimes that person is a sister. Sometimes it’s a friend. Sometimes it’s a brother or a cousin or even an aunt or uncle. Everyone’s relationships and families are different. Hell, you can even have one of your parents are your Maid/Matron of Honor if you want to, though I’ve never seen that done since parents typically already have an honoured role in the wedding.
Mine is my sister in law. She has been in my life since I was a young teenager and she has always been a positive and supportive force in my life. I can’t imagine my life without her and she has been the most consistent source of love in my life besides my parents and siblings for years.
I have two other sister in law’s and three brothers on my side, as well as a Future Sister-In-Law and Future Brother-In-Law on his side, but none of them are hurt or offended by the fact that my sister in law that I’ve chosen for Maid/Matron of Honor is the one I’m closest with or that I chose her and none of them. The other two SILs I’ve literally only known for a few years so even though I like them well eboeno we aren’t super close.
If I were having a bridal party and not just a Maid/Matron of Honor I would probably have my two best guy friends as bridesmen and one female friend as a bridesmaid. I’m closer with them than any of my other sister in law’s.
Post # 14
Member
47413 posts
Honey Beekeeper
Life will be much easier if you remove the words always and never from your vocabulary.
Post # 15
Member
752 posts
Busy bee
Nope! I’m extremely close with both my sisters and decided neither would be Maid/Matron of Honor. They don’t work well together so I couldn’t have them Co. They both understood when I chose my 20+ yr best guy friend.