Should a sister always be chosen as MOH

posted 1 year ago in The Lounge
  • poll: Should a sister or family member always be chosen as MOH even if the bride is closer to a friend?

    Yes because no matter if she is closer to the friend family trumps friends

    No because being a MOH should be about who you are closest to not necessarily blood relations

    Other please explain

  • Post # 2
    Member
    10263 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2016

    No one should be obligated to ask anyone to have a specific role in their wedding. Ask the people closest to you, it doesn’t matter if they are family or friends.

    Post # 3
    Member
    469 posts
    Helper bee

    While my sister and I aren’t exactly best friends, my 3 closest friends and I are such a tight group that I’d feel bad choosing one of them over the others because I love them all the same. In a way, having a sister is a nice scapegoat to not having to choose between friends because people would think it’s perfectly reasonable to have your sister as Maid/Matron of Honor anyway haha. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    650 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2019

    Definitely not!!! My sister chose a friend be her Maid/Matron of Honor and I was very relieved. We’re not that close. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    2715 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle

    Nope.  I wasn’t my sister’s Maid/Matron of Honor and she wasn’t mine (we were bridesmaids for each other though!).  Didn’t cause any problems.

    Post # 7
    Member
    2339 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2018

    I chose my best friend. I have 3 sisters and im not about to pick a favourite 

    Post # 8
    Member
    138 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: City, State

    I was a bridesmaid but not Maid/Matron of Honor in my sister’s wedding. We lived too far apart at the time and I was too busy for planning a whole bunch of stuff. I think the Maid/Matron of Honor should be someone you are not only close to but also can be there for you during planning and everything leading up to the wedding. If your sister is the most involved in helping you out, I think you should consider it. However, if your friend is more involved then choose your friend for sure.

    Post # 9
    Member
    80 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: August 2019 - Santa Barbara, CA

    I am very close to my sister now (within the last 5 years) but I picked a close cousin as my maid of honor.  It was tricky picking but ultimately my cousin grew up with me, we have fun memories/adventures growing up, and she’s closer to my age & it’s easier for her to relate & plan/coordinate the wedding events.  My sister is just learning to be on her own etc. and would probably be overwhelmed with the planning a Maid/Matron of Honor would have to do.

    Post # 10
    Member
    9074 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    I only had one of my sisters as a bridesmaid and she wasn’t my moh, that was my closest friend. I didn’t even invite one of my sister’s to my wedding. Blood does not equal close and blood does not mean you can overlook that they are a horrible human being.

    Post # 11
    Member
    13072 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    Since Maid/Matron of Honor is an honor title which carries with it no real additional “responsibilities,” I don’t see the need for only one Maid/Matron of Honor. For example, I don’t buy into the idea that a MOH’s “job” is to host or plan parties. 

    So, assuming decent relationships, if there are several sisters or sister in laws and one or more close friends, I don’t see why you have to choose just one. I personally would not. 

    I’d feel the same way if there are several close friends, and no one who is the clear and obvious choice. There’s no obligation to choose just one.

    Post # 12
    Member
    28 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: November 2019

    No…I have 3 sisters none are even in my wedding (which is another story).   My BFF and I have been friends for 20+ years and she is my Maid/Matron of Honor.  I can’t imagine her not being my Maid/Matron of Honor.

    Post # 13
    Member
    3322 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: January 2021

    Nope. Your Maid/Matron of Honor is the person you feel closest with aside from your spouse to be. Sometimes that person is a sister. Sometimes it’s a friend. Sometimes it’s a brother or a cousin or even an aunt or uncle. Everyone’s relationships and families are different. Hell, you can even have one of your parents are your Maid/Matron of Honor if you want to, though I’ve never seen that done since parents typically already have an honoured role in the wedding. 

    Mine is my sister in law. She has been in my life since I was a young teenager and she has always been a positive and supportive force in my life. I can’t imagine my life without her and she has been the most consistent source of love in my life besides my parents and siblings for years. 

    I have two other sister in law’s and three brothers on my side, as well as a Future Sister-In-Law and Future Brother-In-Law on his side, but none of them are hurt or offended by the fact that my sister in law that I’ve chosen for Maid/Matron of Honor is the one I’m closest with or that I chose her and none of them. The other two SILs I’ve literally only known for a few years so even though I like them well eboeno we aren’t super close. 

    If I were having a bridal party and not just a Maid/Matron of Honor I would probably have my two best guy friends as bridesmen and one female friend as a bridesmaid. I’m closer with them than any of my other sister in law’s. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    47342 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Life will be much easier if you remove the words always and never from your vocabulary.

    Post # 15
    Member
    764 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2019

    Nope! I’m extremely close with both my sisters and decided neither would be Maid/Matron of Honor. They don’t work well together so I couldn’t have them Co. They both understood when I chose my 20+ yr best guy friend. 

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