Post # 1
So I have 3 sisters. 13, 17, and 27. I am gonna let the two youngest sisters be my bridesmaids. I already decided not to have a Maid/Matron of Honor because my sisters and friends are all equally important to me. I don’t know if I should also ask my 27 year old sister to be a bridesmaid. We are getting along at the moment but that is not always the case. Sometimes she is very mean and at her 27 years of age she posts her drama on facebook. She has posted very ugly things about me and my boyfriend and how I only want him for his money and how I am such a dirty whore and I just try too hard to be her.
When she found out I was engaged she acted happy and asked me who my bridesmaids would be and I just told her I haven’t decided. What should I do?
Post # 2
Choose your favourite sisters.
Post # 3
Honestly, asking 2 out of 3 sisters is just asking for drama. You might be getting along at the moment, but that will change as soon as she realises she was the only one left out. This really seems like one of those all or none situations – either you ask all of your sisters or none of them.
Post # 4
I think in order to avoid drama you have to ask all three or none at all. I understand that she’s been awful to you, but it’s going to be a huge family drama and end up involving / stressing everyone out if you don’t ask her.
Post # 5
- Wedding: September 2017 - Poppy Ridge Golf Course
Do you care about the potential family drama? If so then don’t ask any. If on the other hand you’re like me and can shut the drama nonsense down by telling people to f*ck off bc its your decision then ask the two younger sisters only. But do not ask the older sister. I think having her in your bridal party would bring a lot more drama and stress than you want to deal with while planning.
Post # 6
I disagree with pp’s about the whole family drama blah blah blah. I have two sisters, one I am very very close with, the other has said very nasty things about me, our sister, and my mother (her step mom, my sister and I are half/step sisters). I was the Maid/Matron of Honor in my close sisters wedding and I want her to be Co-MOH in my wedding. My other sister will not be in my wedding as a bridesmaid but I plan to include her in some way. You are not obligated to make anyone a bridesmaid, especially if they treat you like shit.
Maybe try to include her in some other way. She could be a reader for the ceremony or reception, an honorable guest with a matching corsage, etc. but she does not have to be a bridesmaid.
Post # 7
- Wedding: September 2017 - Mississauga Convention Centre
You have a dilema on your hands either way there’s drama if you ask your sister you might not always get along. If you don’t ask her you purposely left her out and that will cause drama. Good Luck
Post # 8
Well, usually I’d say you should accept that some amount of squabbling comes with being sisters, and to let it go and not hold grudges and have her in your wedding. But if there’s a line, I’m pretty sure calling you a “dirty whore” crosses it.
You’d be perfectly justified not to ask her to stand up for you. But you should expect blowback for that decision. It all comes down to what will make your life more peaceful. I’m sorry you’re in such a difficult position.
By The Way, aside from this bridesmaid stuff, how is yor relationship with her? I mean, I’ve argued with a couple of my brothers and sisters and we’ve moved past it (and one of my sisters is very difficult to have a relationship with sometimes), but in general in your life are you able to move past completely hostile, mean-spirited public comments like that from her?
Lastly, remember that if you do ask her to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man, it’s just asking her to stand with you on the day of. If she gets mean again, her participation as a Bridesmaid or Best Man doesn’t need to consume your life, if that makes sense.
Post # 9
I would normally say to have all three to avoid the drama, but there is no possible way that anyone who ever called me that would be a bridemaid for me. Presumably someone who used such strong language against me wouldn’t have enough feelings toward me to be hurt about not being asked anyway.
Post # 10
Id just ask them all, for the sake of moving the relationship in the right direction and being the bigger person. Then, when drama happens, it will at least be her fault and not yours for excluding her. Sorry you have a jerk for a sister.
Post # 11
Why would you ask teenagers but not a grown woman? A 27-year-old is presumably settled in at least a job, and can actually pay for things like her dress, whereas where are the younger ones suppose to get the money? That seems backwards to me. But if you are asking two then definitely ask the third besides. She will be your sister forever, even if you have issues to work through at this point in your lives.
Post # 12
At the moment we are okay. I decided not to respond to her attacks. She is just nice one day and not so nice the next.
Post # 13
Just an update. I decided to ask her. My Fiance told me it would be kind of mean to leave her out especially because her child will be the ring bearer. She was very excited about it. I don’t regret my decision YET. lol