(Closed) should bridal party bring guests?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
5498 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

In my opinion the wedding party should be the exception to the no guest rule. They are shelling out a lot of money to take part in your wedding, and should get to bring a date. I understand that you don’t want to spend the extra $45/person, but is there anyway you can cut somewhere else?

Post # 4
4765 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas

Honestly, for me, it is very important that my bridal party is able to bring guests and sit with them at dinner. We aren’t having a head table, because I know that not everyone in my Bridal Party really knows each other and would probably be much more comfortable sitting with the person they choose to bring. In my situation, pretty much all of our Bridal Party is married, but even if they weren’t I’d want them to be able to bring someone, just because if I were in that situation, I know I’d want to be able to.

However, that being said, if you simply can’t afford to have them bring guests, that’s fine. There really isn’t a hard and fast etiquette rule about this, it’s kind of just what works best for everyone. If you don’t think you can swing it, then just tell them that you’re sorry but you simply cannot afford it.

Post # 5
2475 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I think your bridal party should be given the option of bringing a guest if they want to.  They may very well think the same things you are saying, and not really have a reason to bring a guest, especially since you say most of them are single.  I would mention to them the points that you brought up (the guys are all friends, their guest would be by themselves, etc.) and let them decide on their own.

Post # 6
671 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

Your bridal party should definitely be able to bring guests!!!!!!  They are going to a lot of expense & effort for you & your new husband, so the least you should do is let them bring a guest so they can have a little more fun at the reception, have their special someone there to dance with, etc.  Guests of bridal party people always know that their SO is going to be busy so they come with the appropriate expectations and usually band together to chat and hang out while waiting for pictures, etc. 

You may be surprised and some of your bridal party may choose not to bring someone, but they should be given the option to decide for themselves. 

Post # 7
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

I agree with the pp. Your bridal party should be the exception. We are not having a head table and we are giving everyone invited the option to bring  a plus one if they are single. We are word of mouthing though that we would prefer that the plus ones not be in any formal pictures, unless they are in a serious reltaionship.

Post # 8
4485 posts
Honey bee

The only time they should be allowed to bring guests is if they are engaged, married, or in a serious relationship. Otherwise you will have random people at your wedding whom you don’t care about and who don’t care about you. Weddings are expensive on their own without providing for extra people whom you will never see or socialize with again.

The majority of adults do know how to (and do) entertain themselves and socialize with others without having to bring friends along who don’t know the couple to keep them company. If they aren’t able to, they are better off declining the invite and doing something else.

Post # 10
1037 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2010 - Carlouel Yacht Club

I think that ultimately it is up to you, but I would probably let them have the “and guest” option. If, like you said, they are all single and not really with people, then if I were a bm/gm, I probably would just not invite someone. Also, right now its only January, and a lot can happen in 5 months! Some of the Bridal Party members might be in a serious relationship at that point…just a thought…obviously it is just my opinion, but I’d give them the option (all the while hoping that they might not add the guest!)! Good luck!

Post # 11
116 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I agree with the other posters. I think your bridal party should be the exception to the guest rule. I understand that it may be for financial reasons but they are spending money to be a prt of your big day. If they want to bring a guest, I think they should be allowed. To be honest, if I were a bridesmaid and wasn’t allowed to bring a guest, I think I would be annoyed.

Post # 12
384 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

The last wedding that I was in was less than a year after I started dating Fiance.  The bride invited him and my mom.  There was an extended period were he was without me, but it definately made the evening worth all the work for me when I was able to  dance with him.

The hour Fiance spent at a table with my mom, my boss and husband she was fighting with, was uncomfortable for him, but i certainly knew he loved me at that point.

Post # 13
972 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I would give them the option because they ARE in your wedding party, two of my BM’s are single and I asked them if they will be bringing anyone and since they know how tight we are with money, they said they didnt need to bring anyone.  

Post # 14
2362 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - New York Botanical Garden

I honestly don’t think that they need to be an exception – I would go blanket with the “only engaged, living together or married” guests, but that is just my opinion

Post # 15
5273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

Just to add my 2 cents, I agree with others; the Wedding Party should be the exception to the rule. Plus, your not going to even notice the random people because you will be having so much fun & it will make you happy to see members of your Wedding Party having fun with their dates too.

We told all of our Wedding Party to bring a guest and in reality they didn’t want to bring random people either, so they just came by themselves. I think your friends like the gesture, but have faith that they arn’t just going to bring and Tom, Dick, or Harry. Even if they bring someone you don’t know, their guest will be someone they know & like; which will keep them a happy Wedding Party member 🙂

Post # 16
4382 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Ceremony - First United Methodist Church; Reception - My parents' house!

I’m giving them all the “and guest” option, because truthfully, I’d be a little miffed at not being able to bring a date if I wanted. They’re taking the extra $$ to participate in the whole wedding shenanigans, so I’ll pay the extra $$ so that they have a date to dance with/hang out with at the wedding.

Perhaps that’s just my feeling because “and guest” is fairly standard in my area for bridal party.

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