(Closed) Should Ex’s Be Invited to Weddings?

posted 11 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Should I invite my ex-bf which is now my best friend to my wedding and make him my MOH?

    Don't invite any exs to your wedding

    Invite him to your wedding BUT don't make him your MOH

    Invite him to your wedding and make him your MOH

  • Post # 32
    3138 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2010 - Savannah, GA

    Talk to your fiance about it.  If your fiance doesn’t mind, then don’t worry about how it looks. But if he doesn’t like the idea, then you should respect his wishes in this matter.


    Post # 33
    501 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    Fiance is inviting one of his exes.  She’s a mutual friend.  I say not inviting exes purely because they are exes is a bit mean, especially to your Fiance because it kind of drives a wedge of insecurity between you.  If your exes are your friends, then they should be invited, period!  And if two people who are getting married have insecurity issues about that, well, maybe they should work that out before getting married!

    I say go ahead and make him your man of honor!  Your attendants should be your best friends.  If he is your best friend, then he should be the one standing there with you.

    My exes will not be invited, but not because Fiance has a problem with it.  My exes are just suuuuper weird lol!

    Post # 34
    21 posts
    • Wedding: November 2012

    I would say invite him to the wedding ONLY if you’re FH is ok wth it. I have seen exes  get pretty nasty before… I am friends with some of my exes and my FH is not all that happy about it. BUT he’s not insecure about it… so I think it depends on what you want for YOUR day.

    Post # 35
    4107 posts
    Honey bee

    well if you are considering him as Maid/Matron of Honor, then i think its safe to say he should at least be invited to the wedding. i assume your Fiance is totally cool with him since you said you hang out sometimes.  as for Maid/Matron of Honor, i think its fine too as long your Fiance is fine too

    Post # 36
    271 posts
    Helper bee

    I was recently the maid of honor at my best friends wedding. She actually invited numerous ex boyfriends because they had become friends after their break up. I highly doubt she told her fiance about it though. I don’t think I could do it for my own personal reasons…thank goodness most of her exes didn’t show up…Although, I think I would have been more uncomfortable than she would have been!

    Post # 37
    472 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    If there is any jealousy between you FH and you ex I would say don’t invite him. However, if your FH is fine with it then why not?

    Post # 38
    81 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    I didn’t vote, but I’m in a very similar situation to yours. One of my two best friends (both guys) is also an ex. All four of us (BFFs, FH and me) hang out a lot, even though FH only knows them through me, and FH is definitely supportive of my decision to have them both in the bridal party. Neither of them, however, will be my Maid/Matron of Honor – because we aren’t having honour attendants.

    Post # 39
    322 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2009

    Have you discussed this with your FI?  I really think only you two know the “rules” of your relationship and what each other is comfortable with.  That said, it should be a decision that you and your Fiance make.

    I must say that looking in from the outside, it is a bit strange to invite an ex.  I was at a wedding once were the bride invited a guy she dated in college and still slept with…….at least until she met her now husband.  When I saw him at the wedding, my mouth literally hit the floor.

    Post # 40
    869 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    If you slept with him the answer is a clear cut no. No matter the situation, having someone stand up for your new marriage that you’ve been sexually intimate with is 100% disrespectful to your new SO. You could probably get away with having him as a guest, but not as you Maid/Matron of Honor. You were in a 2 year relationship with this guy so no matter what your relationship is like now you still have a LOT of history that can’t be forgotten.

    Post # 41
    414 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: January 2012

    I went to my ex’s wedding in July and he’s going to be invited to mine. We dated when we were 16 – 17 but have been friends since since then and talk almost daily or at least weekly. On the other side i know there is a “friend” of my Fiance that will be at our wedding i know at one point they were more then friends but I’m okay with that they have been friends since then with nothing happening. If either side feels threathened in anyway then its not a good idea but if you love and trust one another(as you should because you are marrying each other!) then there shouldn’t be an issue.

    Good Luck!

    Post # 42
    3974 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    I think exs could be invited to a wedding no problem, as long as everyone is alright with it. 

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