Post # 1
So my FMIL and FI have been struggling to decide on a song for their mother son dance. He’s been trying to get her to pick a song for a few months now, and our DJ wants the list of all of the special dance songs by the end of the week. A few weeks ago, FI and her were trying to pick songs, and she brought up “Over the Rainbow”, but an instrumental version. He told her he would rather not because he didn’t feel like it was a good mother/son song, it’s instrumental, and because we are already using it as the song our parents are being seated to in our ceremony (just on piano, its a version that will transition into “What a Wonderful World”). She then slipped up and said “well if I cant use What a Wonderful World, I dont know what I want”.. when she had just been dead set on “Over the Rainbow” (we didn’t even mention what a wonderful world in this conversation, but we had told her before about using both of those songs for the ceremony, which she said was a great idea). She is now saying she wants “What a Wonderful World”, instrumental version from the movie Meet Joe Black.
I want to make her happy, but FI really doesn’t want that song, especially since it’s already being used for the ceremony, and he doesn’t want to dance with his mother to an instrumental version of a song. We can’t change our wedding ceremony music, as the deadline for our pianist gave us to make any changes for him to learn any new songs has passed. Our wedding is in two weeks.
Does anyone have any suggestions of other songs that are similar to these? Or should we just let her have her way?
Post # 2
No one will remember what was playing during the ceremony.
Post # 3
futuremrss17 : just let her have it. It’s really not a hill to die on. It probably means a lot more to her than it does to your fiance. When I got married I told my MIL that all special dances had a 2 minute cap and she insisted on a 4.5 minute version of Somewhere Over the Rainbow. The mother/son dance was longer than our first dance AND my dance with my dad combined. It was a bit ridiculous and people honestly stopped paying attention and went up to the bar in the middle of it since it was so long – but she didn’t care so in the end it didn’t matter.
Post # 4
abwcmo : That was my initial thought.. but FI seems pretty against it and I think he more so feels that way due to it being an instrumental version and he just thinks there are songs with better words out there. I think the original version by Louis Armstrong is a lovely song, but she’s against anything besides the instrumental version from Meet Joe Black.
Post # 5
LilliV : Yeah I agree. My dad and I are dancing to “Isnt She Lovely” by Stevie Wonder, but we are having the DJ shorten it a ton (that song is LONG).
I think I’m just going to leave it up to FI. I’m sure he will just let it go if she really wants to use that song.
Post # 6
futuremrss17 : “Or should we just let her have her way?” — This one.
- It’s really weird that he’s so opposed to an instrumental. A lot of people deliberately go with intrumentals because you don’t have to worry about sappy or inappropriate lyrics, and it doesn’t matter whether the original is sung by a male or female voice. He doesn’t care what the words are, just that there are some? Doesn’t make sense.
- You’ll already have had the song for your ceremony. That specialness will have already happened and can’t be taken away or undone. So… who cares if she uses the same song later in the night? Nobody will probably even notice that it’s the same song and if they do, why does it matter? What is the repercussion that you’re trying to avoid?
Post # 7
futuremrss17 : Let FI figure it out with his mother, I’m sure you have enough on your plate to worry about.
Post # 8
Daisy_Mae : Absolutely no repercussion to worry about, FI has just spent a lot of time trying to find a song that means something to him, and that will mean something to her, and he’s upset that she’s turned down all of his suggestions. He does care what the words are – which is why he’s tried finding some that he feels like represent his relationship with his mother. I’m not worried about them using the song taking away anything special from the ceremony – I do not feel like that at all. He just wanted something different, I guess. I could care less what they choose, I’m just trying to be supportive of him and his feelings about it.
Post # 9
There’s literaly a million songs she could choose from. Here is like a quick top ten
1. A song for Mama – Boyz II Men
2. Because you Love Me – Celine Dion
3. How Sweet It is – James Taylor
4. I’ll Always Love my Mama – The Intruders
5. You’ll be in my heart – Phil Collins
6. Unforgettable by Natalie and Nat King Cole
7. Wing Beneath my Wings- Bette Midler
8. Do I make you Proud – Taylor Hicks
9.The First Time I saw your face – Roberta Flack
10. Your Song – Elton John
Why not compromise and give the instrumental song and break it up with a more upbeat/faster song? I honestly don’t think your guests are going to care or notice either way. Best of luck on your wedding countdown!
Post # 10
I’m pretty sure your guest won’t even notice the same song is being played twice if its two different versions of the song. In the grand scheme of things to worry about for your wedding day this should be a minor one. I would just let her have her way. Not worth the drama in my opinion.
Post # 11
Oh I just thought of another one! God only knows by The Beach Boys or my favorite: Sweet Child O’ Mine by Sheryl Crow!
Post # 12
futuremrss17 : Ohh — I didn’t see anything about him suggesting songs and her shooting them down. When you said “he’s been trying to get her to pick a song”, that sounds like he’s asking her for suggestions and not liking any of hers, not the other way around. Sorry for not catching that’s what you meant. I would still just give it to her. If they argue over it, it’s going to put negative feelings into what should be a positive moment. If he’s given some ideas and she isn’t feeling them, what’s the point of trying to force it? You need to give the DJ your songs, so let her have this.
Post # 13
He is so worried about finding that song that feels special to him, that he is dismissing what feels special to his mom.
I think he should forget about findig THE song and focus on simply enjoying the dance with his mom.
In any case, it is his problem and I don’t think there is anything you can do 🙁
Post # 14
plannerpersonality : I’m pretty sure he suggested most of those to her, along with an acoustic version of “Simple Man” by Lynyrd Skynyrd which was his top pick because the words in it are very describing of how his mother tried to raise him.
Daisy_Mae : Yeah, I didn’t explain that very well. I do think this is one he just needs to let go but I don’t blame him for being a little upset. He’s not normally a very sentimental person, but he said it was important to him to find a song that could be meaningful to his mother and him both and I guess he just wanted the words to protray that.
Post # 15
I’d let her have the song. Any one she wants.