(Closed) Should FI let his mom have her way or make her pick another song?

posted 4 years ago in Family
Post # 16
Member
192 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2018

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funnyfox :  I’m with you! It’s an issue that needs to be figured out by mother and son. I would take yourself out of the equation and be like I’m sending the list to the DJ on Friday so either pick one or I’m telling him you’re not doing it (that might be too aggressive but you get it)

Also, if the time is past for the pianist to learn any new songs would you be open to asking him what is already in his repertoire? I guarantee you he already knows Over the Rainbow and What a Wonderful World. Maybe he knows some other songs that you can use instead. 

Post # 18
Member
7986 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

This is such a weird song to have in a wedding anyways [written by a jew during the war – chimney tops meaning the literal burning of human flesh], and even without the writer context, it’s about being somewhere else that’s better lol. So a mom dancing with her son saying “dont worry, we’ll soon be out of this misery”.

Anyways. If your Fiance doesnt want to dance to the song, then she can pick another. Its a mother son dance, not a solo.

Post # 22
Member
7986 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

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futuremrss17 :  It’s pretty interesting. But to your original question, I’d still tell her to find another song lol. Or, well, I’d have Fiance tell her. Because he’s the one that doesnt want to use it, and it’s still his wedding.

Post # 24
Member
925 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

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futuremrss17 :  let her use what a wonderful world no one is going to care!!!!! 

Post # 25
Member
2238 posts
Buzzing bee

My Dad picked a song I didn’t really like.  DH’s Mom picked a song I wanted for my father/daughter dance song.  We just let my Dad and his Mom choose the songs they wanted.  Its kind of their special moment.  I got married in August and I would already have to check to even remember exactly what songs we used so I’m sure no one else knows either except possibly our parents.  I would just let them choose what they want and move on 😉 

Post # 26
Member
355 posts
Helper bee

I guess I’m against the grain here, it’s you & your FI’s wedding. While I think his mom should have input,  I don’t think she gets final say. If Fiance doesn’t like it, it shouldn’t be used.

Post # 27
Member
7567 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

We had the same issue. Getting Mother-In-Law to pick a song to dance to was literally the hardets part of wedding planning. She kept picking incredibly sappy songs, and DH was not willing to budge on it. He loves his mother, but he HATES being the center of attention. If it were up to him they wouldn’t do a dance at all, but he knew that it was important to her. He drew the line at a song that felt like a major tear jerker or overly sappy.

We came up with all sorts of suggestions and she didn’t like any of them. She found some random song online while googling “mother son dance songs”. Bees…when I say this song was HORRIBLE, it was that bad. Every person we played it for would cringe and say “no way”. It was by some no-name singer and it was just terrible.

In the end they found a song they could agree on but it was a close call.

Post # 28
Member
481 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

Let her have whatever song she wants. He can suck it up for 3 minutes and make her happy. My husband didn’t want what he mom picked out, I told him too bad he’s doing it. 

Post # 29
Member
7901 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

Neither song is inappropriate, IMO, and in their instrumental versions they are essentially muzak anyway. I cannot understand why your Fiance would be so dead-set against this. Of all the requests a parent can make, this one seems pretty harmless. I’d let her have her way on this; parents should have good memories of the wedding, too.

Post # 30
Member
2119 posts
Buzzing bee

Send your fiancé and his mum off to lunch, and let him know you want a song choice when they return. THEY need to talk about why they do/don’t want each song. While I understand this is a special moment for her too, I don’t condone bratty behaviour in adults. Throwing a hissy fit because she doesn’t want to negotiate is bratty behaviour. 

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