(Closed) Should FI talk to his brother about this?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
4193 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

Yes, Fiance should tell his brother to back off. It makes perfect sense that he didn’t ask D to be his best man, based on past behavior. Why would you ask someone to be in your wedding, when there’s a good possibility they wouldn’t be able to make it?

And if Future Brother-In-Law brings D to the wedding, you are NOT responsible for “babysitting” him- that would be FBIL’s responsibility. Yes, it’s “messed up” that D can’t be the best man, but D’s actions are what put him in prison- you didn’t. :)-

(can you believe we just have 50 days- can not wait!!!)

Post # 4
Member
3220 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

If Future Brother-In-Law brought D to your wedding, wouldn’t it be his responsibility to “watch” him?  Also doesn’t Future Brother-In-Law just get a +1? So would he leave his pregnant partner at home?

Post # 5
Member
3303 posts
Sugar bee

Your fiancé should be talking to him, not you. Sorry he is being an a$$ wipe

Post # 6
Member
368 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

He should say something, not only for your sake, but on behalf of his ACTUAL best man. It’s not fair to that guy for the brother to be running around saying all this crap. I understand your Fiance is non confrontational, but if you propose that he needs to do it for you and his best man, maybe that will make him feel more confident about sticking up for two people who are important to him. 

Post # 10
Member
3220 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

It sounds like your honeymoon is more of a familymoon anyway?  If you’re already spending the whole week with your family, how does D being there really change anything?  It doesn’t sound like your Future Brother-In-Law is going to spend the whole time with his girl, he’ll probably be trying to hang out with your Fiance, if that’s what he does normally?

I don’t mean to sound rude at all, and please disregard this if it’s totally off base, but is it possible that your Future Brother-In-Law is picking up on some of your actual feelings regarding D? You sound like you’re happy your Fiance doesn’t hang out with those type of people anymore, that he’s grown up and D isn’t really welcome to many things.  Not that there’s anything wrong with wanting your Fiance to be safe and drug-free (if those are the boundaries that you create) but that maybe your subtle reactions to D are not as subtle as you think?

If your Fiance genuinely wants to leave his bros behind him, he’ll need to say it himself.  

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