- 6 years ago
- Wedding: April 2019
My best friend of 19 years, who is my Maid/Matron of Honor, according to her at least, has already started taking control in a way. She assumed she was Maid/Matron of Honor, which I am not sure about given I know her ability to take over and only listen to her own opinion, and when I mentioned that my sister also said ‘shotty MOH’, (meaning she wanted MOH) my bestie said that she had a right to be Maid/Matron of Honor, she has known me longer than my sister has. (My sister was born about five months after i met my MOH)
We were looking at the bridal magazines and everything, she was saying how we need to start planning right now and we should put money down on a dress if we see one we like. That my Fiance need to decide food, etc etc. That red and white should be the theme, which is one of my ideas but I had other ones too that I want to consider. I said that I am not really doing much wedding planning yet, the more important thing is getting uni finished, and moving out. Our wedding is not for three to four years, minimum.
She said we shouldn’t live together before we get married, that we should save for a deposit on a house. One of the things my father was concerned about when my Fiance asked his permission for getting engaged to me, was the fact that we haven’t lived together, and that we should live together for a year or two before getting married. That is what my Fiance and I want to do too. But my Maid/Matron of Honor just made a disapproving face and said that we should save for a house instead.
One thing that really riles me up even more is how she reacted about my FI’s choice of best man/men. He is having two, because he couldn’t decide between them, one is a friend from high school who we hang out with all the time (him and my bestie) and another best friend who lives in Adelaide, who he has a very similar personality to, and are very similar in their tastes of music etc. They have msn convos I just don’t get, but they understand them. Now my Maid/Matron of Honor and this friend from Adelaide haven’t gotten along that well, but she knows how close he and my Fiance are. Now what really pissed me off was when we told her that he would be one of the best men, she said “Is he even going to come up for the wedding?” That REALLY pissed me off. Of course he would come up for the wedding of one of his best friends! I said that if he couldn’t afford the plane trip, etc, which I think he would be able to, we would pay for it ourselves so he could be there. She made a doubtful disapproving face again, and just basically said all this stuff not believing it . He flew up for my FI’s 21st and many other occasions, she just thinks the local friend should be the only best man, probably not cos he can do more, but because she doesn’t really like the other one.
Of course my Fiance can’t stand up to her, there have been a few occasions where I have said something, she has said something different, and he listened to her not me, even if I was right. I am just scared our wedding will turn into her wedding, that she will shut down every idea I have, insist we plan straight away and my uni work will suffer for it, and if I refuse she might plan things and book things behind my back, even when we do start planning properly I worry that she might change things I’ve booked or book things behind my back. What do I do?