(Closed) Should he leave before or after the baby?

posted 3 years ago in Military
Post # 2
Member
9527 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I can’t imagine why he would run off before you have the baby. His dream can’t wait 6 months- a year? Having you move while still preganant or with a new born would be challenging for you. 

Post # 3
Member
2158 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I would definitely say ”move before the baby comes”. Personally I would rather handle being pregnant alone than handle looking after a baby or toddler alone. Not to mention that your Darling Husband will love your baby dearly and wont’ want to be away from him/her. I’m currently traveling with my son (we won’t see Darling Husband for a week) and he’s alreasy messaging me saying how much he misses him. When I was pregnant it would have sucked to not share it with Darling Husband but I would have preferred that, given the choice. When you’re pregnant you still have your own freedom, can travel, do things with the girls, have fun… once the baby comes it’s ”looking after the baby 24/7” and even time to have a hot shower is precious. You will need his help and involvement when LO is born.

Post # 4
Member
2158 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

And I don’t think waiting 6 months/a year changes anything. Young children grow and change sooo fast and if your Darling Husband moves away when your child is young then he will be a stranger to your child when he gets back…. that would be such a shame. I know that people in the military do have to deal with that and I admire them greatly.. if you have the choice I would say ”do it now”.

Post # 5
Member
592 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Is he really okay with being away from you through the pregnancy, missing sharing that whole experience with you? And what if, God forbid, you had the baby early, or had any complications afterwards? I hate to mention it as a possibility, but I’m a NICU nurse and I can tell you nobody ever plans for these things to happen.

Post # 6
Member
302 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Tell him to talk to his recruiter. They know timelines, etc. and are there to give advice on these very matters. When he goes to boot camp could take a little bit of time sometimes. He’d only be away 3 months once he does go, and then has a short time of leave, before his first duty station. But again, the recruiter can help with timeline! 

And I can’t say this enough, have a TON of patience. Everything with Air Forcs seems to be “hurry up and wait.” I’d recommend him seeing the recruiter as soon as possible, whether he goes now or later.

Post # 7
Member
4231 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom

Can’t his dream wait a year or two? I mean, I couldn’t imagine having to make this choice! It’s too hard!

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