- ladyjane123
- 2 years ago
- CategoriesRelationship
- ladyjane123
- 2 years ago
- vegas62218
- 2 years ago
- tiffanybruiser
- 2 years ago
@vegas then he is still responsible, just as the woman is still responsible if the form of bc she chooses to rely on fails. It’s all about how much risk you’re comfortable with. Condoms have a high success rate when used correctly but aren’t invincible. Same with birth control pills. If “99% effective” or whatever the stats are on a form of bc aren’t acceptable to you then you need to find another method. But the minute you entrust your bc to a condom, the pill, the withdrawal method or whatever it may be, you are accepting whatever risk there is that your chosen method could fail. That is true for both men and women.
- youngbrokebride
- 2 years ago
- Wedding: April 2018
I’m just asking those who use the argument that women get to make the choice about the pregnancy due to biology – well biologically she is able to have more control over preventing the pregnancy in the first place. Say for example he did wear a condom and it broke, wouldn’t the onus then be on the woman to either have a backup method of contraception used, or take the morning after pill. What if she doesn’t do this? What if she said she was on BC but wasn’t taking it properly, or even lied?
Moreso, unless the mother is proved to be unfit, I’m assuming depending on the location, if he wanted to be an active father, it would be almost impossible for him to have 50/50 custody or sole custody, at least while the child is a baby.
In these sorts of circumstances, why should the man have no say yet be financially responsible to the woman for the next 18 years?
In my opinion, having a baby and being a parent is a separate choice to having consensual sex.
As I said in an earlier post, I can see both sides of the argument and the third side too – which is the child who will be brought into the world in less than ideal circumstances. I’m not saying he shouldn’t pay, I’m just wondering what the argument is to this.
In reality I think he should just accept it and man up and be an actual father, not just in the financial sense, but I think a lot of the arguments here are misguided.
- LadySusan
- 2 years ago
- Wedding: April 2018
This whole thread is gross. Of course he should pay child support for all of the reasons previous posters have listed and more. If he didn’t want to get a random girl pregnant than maybe he should have invested in a pocket pussy or better yet a vasectomy.
- happyjuju
- 2 years ago
For every woman trying to baby-trap a random guy, there’s some stupid and irresponsible man who will make it happen. I think both parties here sound like pretty gross people. Like it reminds me of that Paternity Court tv show.
I just feel bad for the baby in this situation. I hope it receives the proper care and support xo
- mistress9
- 2 years ago
yes, he should have to pay. the debt is to the child. he doesn’t have to be a father in sense of parenting or visitation but it is a financial debt. it doesn’t matter if he didn’t want the child. you can’t force woman to have or not have abortions. that’s never going to happen.
- vegas62218
- 2 years ago
Would the reverse be ok? A woman has sex w/BC, but gets pregnant. Should she also be required to have a baby and be a mother?
- kiram
- 2 years ago
Some things in life don’t give second chances…pregnancy is one of those things. I know everyone likes to pretend sex is no big deal, but it kinda is. One accident and your life will never be the same.
- tiffanybruiser
- 2 years ago
@vegas when a man has consensual sex with a woman, he is consenting to every possible consequence of that decision, including the possible consequence that birth control will fail, she will get pregnant and decide to keep the pregnancy, as it is her right to do. It is not his right to say sorry I reject that consequence and I refuse to pay child support. That’s not how the legal system works, and for good reason.
In the same vein a woman doesn’t get to say “I will have sex, but if I get pregnant I refuse to deal with it.” She doesn’t have that luxury due to her biology. She either has to terminate, which involves an invasive medical procedure and, for some woman an emotionally difficult process, or have a baby.
I don’t think anyone is saying the man has to step up and be invloved in the child’s life as a father figure, but imo he should absolutely be responsible for child support whether he wanted to father the child or not. For the billionth time, if he can’t abide by that potential consequence then he needs to take some type of action to reduce the risk of it happening.
- jannigirl
- 2 years ago
- Wedding: October 2016
This is the thing. Did the guy make his no children views known prior to entering into a sexual relationship or after she became pregnant? Doesn’t seem as if he is terribly serious about being cfbc when he refuses to use any sort of birth control. His actions are of someone who wants to engage in adult behavior without suffering the consequences of his poor decisions. Welcome to the real world.
- sstella
- 2 years ago
I don’t really know how to feel about this particular situation as there are so many details we don’t know, but I definitely disagree with the argument ‘he chose to have sex so he has to accept the possibility of becoming a parent’. If this is the case, then what about every woman who also chose to have sex, got pregnant, and then chose to have an abortion? Isn’t she supposed to accept she might become a parent too? Is she a terrible person for opting out? I just don’t get it.
- Anonymous1063
- 2 years ago
- Wedding: July 2013
Not only should he pay, but he’s should also get involved in the child’s life and be the best father he can under the circumstances. The child had no choice and exists because of decisions made by the two adults.
Life isn’t always about what you want to do; sometimes it is about doing what is right.
- Twizbe
- 2 years ago
- Wedding: July 2011
Oops let this thread run away with itself a bit.
I’ve not read every response but it’s clear there are a lot of views on this.
I think it’s time to close those as the argument does seem to be going round in circles a bit.
Thank you all for contributing. If I hear anything more of the situation (like if he pays up or situations change) I’ll be sure to come back and let you know.
The topic ‘Should he pay?’ is closed to new replies.