- 3 years ago
- Wedding: September 2015
So I’m feeling pretty awful.
My FI and I have been together for 5 and a half years, he works out of town, sometimes days, weeks or months at a time. It has made me really attached to him, maybe more than if he wasn’t always gone. Basically, when he’s home I drop everything to be with him, and he is typically the same way. For the past year and a half my FI has worked out of town during the week and comes home on the weekend, it’s been the most we have seen each other but it has still been really hard!
Anyways, my FI feels guilty everytime he leaves because I feel sad he’s going and tell him I’m upset and that I will miss him, but how can I not say these things when they are true?
So the latest is, every long weekend we go up to his families cabin with his whole family and friends, and it just so happens my birthday is always on the long weekend so I haven’t had a birthday home in 5 years. I’m starting to not like that because half the people don’t even know it’s my birthday so it ends up going unnoticed, compared to the elaborate birthdays everyone else gets, which kinda sucks but I’m not going to say anything!
Well my birthday this year falls on the same long weekend aa a concert I really want to see. My bestfriend is pushing me to go because she knows how much I love concerts but I was hesitant because of my FI who will then be my DH. i told my FI I would only want to go to the concert if he stayed home that long weekend so I could celebrate my birthday with him and not be alone! Well he texted my best friend and said I would join her to make me happy but now I feel guilty. Should I not have asked him to stay? Should he still go away since I’m deciding to stay home? He probably would have stayed anyways if I went but probably to ensure I wouldn’t be upset.
If I am being selfish in making him stay then I want to know how to let him go without being upset. I want to think of his happiness more than my own but I also felt it would be bad to miss my birthday, our first as a married couple.
Can you please give your opinion? I know I might be called selfish here and believe me I feel it.