(Closed) Should his sister be a bridesmaid?

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
4037 posts
Honey bee

Megbee617:  I agree with you – Don’t ask! The potential for nastiness, from her, is just too great. She sounds like the kind of person who would like to suck the happiness, right out of your wedding. People who stand up to you should want to share your joy.

 

Post # 3
Member
665 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Are you close with her at all? 

My Fiance has 3 sisters, and I let it be his call whether he wanted them or not because I am not super close with them. He chose not to because we didn’t want a huge bridal party. We just went with friends. 

But especially if you think she will cause drama, you don’t want any extra stressors for your wedding day. I would say no.

Post # 4
Member
5154 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

Megbee617:  No, no, no, no, and NO. Please DO NOT. It will NOT force her to behave. You will end up miserable and regretting you asked her – trust me! 

Post # 6
Member
665 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Yes please don’t! Just sounds like it would be a horrible idea to ask her. lol She can just be a little upset and get over it!

Post # 7
Member
425 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

If your Fiance said no then you have your answer. If you aren’t close to her at all she shouldnt be expecting you to ask…and if she does then let your Fiance tell her what he told you. No worries!

Post # 8
Member
2445 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

No, don’t ask her to be a bridesmaid.

Post # 9
Member
3540 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

Megbee617:  don’t ask. no need to add extra drama leading up to, and on, ur day. 

Post # 10
Member
1319 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Megbee617:  DO NOT ASK HER TO BE A BRIDESMAID. If there’s one thing I’ve learned through this process: asking someone to be in your bridal party in the hopes that it will improve the relationship will fail every time. Weddings make people crazy and if you give drama queens even more responsiblity, that craziness is only going to increase. Plus, making Future Sister-In-Law a bridesmaid suddenly gives her a say in your wedding decisions since they will affect her. Don’t put that pressure on yourself if your Fiance and Future Sister-In-Law aren’t close anyways.

Post # 11
Member
2969 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

NO!!!!!! That is probably the WORST idea ever. Your bridesmaids are supposed to be people that love you, respect you, and are excited and honored to be standing up there with you.

If you think that she is going to magically turn into someone else because you ask her to be a bridesmaid, I think you are in for a ruuuude awakening. If she already doesnt get along with you and your Fiance, you can imagine how compounded that will be when you are trying to wedding plan and she has a large role in your planning. I would be too stressed tiptoeing around that messed up family dynamic.

Let her read something if you must have her involved but do not make her a bridesmaid. Too close for comfort.

Post # 12
Member
7369 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Don’t borrow trouble. I don’t know where this idea comes from that asking women who clearly aren’t supportive is going to turn them into well behaved people, who suddenly care. It won’t. 

OP you pretty much answered your own question with your follow up post. If you own FH is against it, why wouldn’t you heed the warning. 

Post # 13
Member
824 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Do not ask her. Your stepmom means well but I disagree that making a drama queen a Bridesmaid or Best Man will reign her in. I had mine as a Bridesmaid or Best Man and will always regret it

Post # 14
Member
1250 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Megbee617:  People in your wedding party should be positive and helpful. She does not sound like that, so please don’t put someone in your wedding party just to keep the peace. You should want them there. 

Post # 15
Member
824 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Megbee617:  If your Fiance said that he does not want her as a Bridesmaid or Best Man then do not go against him. 

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