(Closed) Should I…

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
1073 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@ladiibug:  Do you mean that you are going to ask him to marry you or just talk about what you want? Have you talked about marriage in the past? If not, why not do it now? I don’t think you should bring it up on Christmas because if it doesn’t go according to plan and he doesn’t tell you what you want to hear, it might ruin the day. I say that there is no time like the present. Bring it up now. Hope this helps. 🙂

Post # 5
Member
1073 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@ladiibug:  I see. By the way, congratulations on becoming a mommy!

It sounds like you are kind of hesitant to bring up the “marriage talk” because maybe you feel it’s too soon? Well, first of all there is no set time a couple has to be together before they decide to get married. For some, 5 yrs is a good amount of time before marriage, and for others 5 months is all they need to take the plunge. My opinion is that if he’s talked about marriage in the past and you two have decided to make the ULTIMATE committment to one another by creating a human life not to mention buying a home, then marriage sounds like the next best step. If you have a healthy relationship and the only thing missing is marriage, then go for it! Bring it up and try not to be confrontational if he does not give you the answers that you’re looking for.

Post # 7
Member
628 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@ladiibug:  Have you thought of proposing to him?

Post # 8
Member
1583 posts
Bumble bee

@ladiibug:  I would. Just have a frank calm convo. If he can do all of those other things with you, a committment makes sense

Post # 11
Member
6741 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

Are you saying you wish for himt o propose to you by Xmas?  Or that you want to propose to him?  Or that either one is good for you? 

Post # 12
Member
628 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@ladiibug:  I proposed to my guy a few weeks ago. We were talking so much about weddings that we actually started to plan ours…there was no proposal though. We ordered wedding bands together and when his came in he didn’t want to put it away so I used it, got down on one knee and proposed. My excuse was that it is leap year, the one time that women of British Isle decent were allowed to propose to the man 🙂 I posted about it and I learned alot about women proposing from posters. I also posted about men and whether they should wear an engagement ring and I learned alot from posters there too.

Lots of posters thought that proposing would take away the man’s thunder. However, many posters thought that it was a great idea for various reasons. It seemed that it was ‘safest’ to propose if you knew it wasn’t going to steal his thunder and you knew he was on the same page about marriage.

Engagement rings for men were seen as okay, if he liked rings. A lot of the posters suggested moving the ring over to a RHR if you ended up with a different wedding ring. Some picked the ring(s) out together after the proposal.

Post # 15
Member
6741 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

@ladiibug:  I just told my Fiance that I would really like to be engaged before we moved (we were moving from NY, where I was born and raised to SC, leaving my family and friends behind – it was my choice, too, but it was a big deal to me to be engaged before we moved).  I did tell him about a year in advance though – saving up for a ring and buying one takes time. We also discussed a timeline – he told me at the end of 2011 that we would be engaged in 2012 sometime and I just said that I would like it to be before we moved (we just moved a week ago, he proposed about 3 weeks before we moved). 

Is there a reason you want to be engaged by Xmas?  Or do you just really dream of a holiday proposal?  Perhaps you should just bring up a timeline – just tell him that you love him and want to spend the rest of your life with him and feel like the next step is getting engaged, then ask him what he thinks about that and when he sees that happening – then tell him when you see it happening and come to a decision on a timeline that works for your relationship, together. 

Some men don’t like to be proposed to – a lot of men want the decision in picking out the ring to be theirs, they want the whole thing to be a surprise and think it’s really important for them to do it.  Only you know what’s right for you, your relationship, and your man.  If you don’t think he would feel emasculated by you proposing, I would just set up a nice, romantic proposal and then go ring shopping after.  You can get him an engagement ring, if you think he wouldn’t mind wearing it.  Or, an engagement watch or something.  I bought my Fiance an engagement gift after he proposed – I would have done the watch, but I bought him a really nice one for Xmas last year that he wears all the time and loves, so I bought him a puppy instead lol. 

 

Post # 16
Member
628 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@futuremrsk18:  LOL..I love the puppy thing 😉 Great advice too.

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