(Closed) Should I add more guests late? What’s the etiquette?

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
16 posts


Good evening!  As a general etiquette rule of thumb, inviting additional guests so close to your RSVP date (for a wedding or any event for that matter) is considered to be poor form.  Regardless you’re paying for the venue’s minimum and inviting someone who knew about the event for months and is just now getting an invitation could easily be insulted.

My best advice to you is to put yourself in their shoes.  Would you feel a little, or a lot, put off if someone invited you to an event at the "last minute" when you’ve known about it for months? 

I personally do not believe in "B" lists. I encourage clients to be mindful when crafting their guest lists and invite only the people who are important and significant in your life to share such a serious milestone event. You’re nail tech or other acquaintences do not generally hold such a place in your life.  Please don’t misconstrue my meaning, I am merely illustrating a point.

Keep a watch on my blog, http://occasionista.typepad.com for a more elaborate blog post on this topic. I know there are a lot of brides struggling with this very topic.

I hope this helps and wish you happiness for many years.

au revior mon cherie,

Elizabeth "The Occasionista"

Post # 4
1573 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I am inviting two of my friends significant others last minute no worries; I already told them I was having a small intimate wedding of 50 (which is now 59), my fiance met their boyfriend and wants to include them; I told my girlfriends if people back out they can bring their dates


no problem



now if its a personal friend or family thats completely different they will feel offended

Post # 5
374 posts
Helper bee

Just b e honest.  Tell them you really wanted to invite them but couldn’t because there was so much family.  Tell them Aunty Em is thinking now not to come.  If she changes her  mind, would they be open to receiving an invitation to take her space.  They may say yes or no.  If yes, mail the invite.  If no, say you understand it was last minute and thank them regardless for understanding the constraints on your budget and need to accomodate family first.   The wedding cannot be a cast of thoursands however because it then is noticeable you are just filling spaes.

Half the people we added on the last minute, came.  But it was the truth.  The elderly were holding off to see how they were feeling, if it was going to rain, etc.  Finally, I had to call them and say the caterer really needed to know the exact # and could they say yes right now.  They couldn’t, so I said, “I understand there are so many variables.  We wish you could  make it.”  And leave it at that.  They didn’t want to say no, so I did for them.  We visited them after the honeymoon and took them cake.  We just went to the bakery and bought fresh cake and took it.  But I am addressing a problem you didn’t ask about…So to answer your question, I’d be honest and tell the guests up front there is a possibility you will be getting open seats from family and if they could come…Send the invite if they say yes.  If they say no, don’t bother.


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