Post # 1
My Fiance and I are having a small wedding party — my best friend is Maid of Honor, my brother is my Man of Honor, and my FI’s sister will be his Best Woman. My friend and his sister are throwing me a bachelorette party (so excited!), but I have *no* clue if his sister is doing for my Fiance. Would it be strange to reach out, ask if she needs help, offer to figure out which days he’s available, etc.? I would also tell her that she can tell me to butt out, with no hard feelings. She and I have a great relationship, for what that’s worth.
I just know that my Fiance is not thrilled that he didn’t have close male friends in his life to be groomsmen, and I’d hate for him to miss out on this experience. If his sister isn’t planning anything (and I feel like she will, because she adores him and is thrilled about everything), I’d happily do it myself, so he gets a pre-wedding evening out to be celebrated. I’m not suggesting a weekend in Vegas — more like dinner and a movie, bowling, or something else low key.
What are your thoughts?
Post # 2
If he doesn’t have close friends, who exactly is going to be attending his bachelor party anyway? And if there is someone, perhaps that person would be planning it? Have you considered just doing a joint party to include both sides? I attended one of those (backyard bbq) and it was great.
I wouldn’t push, but there’s probably no reason you can’t ask something along the lines of “so do you happen to know if someone [not her specifically] is planning a bachelor party for fiance?” and go from there.
Post # 3
Yah this seems the best opportunity for a 2 in 1 combo stag-stagette. I’ve been to a camping one and it was great
If that’s not your jam, he might just not have one and that’s okay too. Who would go? I don’t think you should be involved and you definitely shouldn’t plan it, that’s a bit bizarre (and honestly a tad pathetic and motherly) if a wife plans her future husbands stag.
Post # 4
Agreed with PPs — if he didn’t have friends to be groomsmen, who would be at this event? Not trying to be a jerk, but if he couldn’t identify a wedding party, who will be there to celebrate at a bachelor party?
Perhaps a joint event is the way to go in this situation.
Post # 5
My bachelorette party is already scheduled for this Saturday, and it’s just the ladies. I’m not involved in the planning, but I know that because he’s working that day.
For him, I was picturing his sister (since she’s his Best Woman), my brother, and me. We all enjoy hanging out and we’re all in the bridal party. I know he’d love to do something with our siblings, since he and his sister are close. If she doesn’t have something planned, I’d organize a fun activity. He’d never ask for it, but I know he’d love to feel special too.
Post # 6
The fact that you’d be there makes it not a stag. It just sounds like a dinner than you’re going to put a twist on to make it about him. Sounds a bit awkward and unnecccessary. Best to let this go and accept these events don’t happen for everyone.
Post # 7
But def plan a random dinner to hang out. Just don’t refer to it as a stag.
Post # 8
You don’t need to just have the bridal party at a bachelor party. for the Bachelor party for my FH, our fathers and male siblings are going, as well as some coworkers that he likes. I think that if it is important to you/him for him to have a bachelor party, then it doesn’t hurt to ask.
Post # 9
I get that you want to make this special for your Fiance, but don’t you think calling it a bachelor party when you literally only have 3 guests (one being the bride) is kind of weird? I think if I was in his position I’d be embarrassed and look at is as a kind of pity party. I think planning a special dinner for the 4 of you is a lovely idea. I just don’t think you need to call it his bachelor party.
Post # 10
- Wedding: February 2017 - historical mansion
I was in a similar situation — we had only immediate family in the wedding party. DH’s sister and her husband stood with him and my brother and his wife stood with me. Despite this, my people went the traditional route for the bachelorette and bachelor party. All the girls (plus my gay male friends) came to my bachelorette party (including my husband’s sister) and then my husband’s sister’s husband threw his bachelor party but his sister didn’t attend. I was a little surprised, but she said she wanted him to have a boys’ night. We went out dancing and had the traditional penis straws and everything. DH just played video games and drank beer at his BIL’s house with a few guys. Anything goes!
Post # 11
Thank you all for your feedback! It’s really interesting how evenly split it is in the poll, so I have to give it some thought. And if his sister has something in the works, this is all moot! If she doesn’t, then I want to arrange something fun for him, no matter what we decide to call it. My Fiance had originally suggested the idea of a co-ed bachelor party/stag do (I’m American, but how fun is that phrase?!), which is why I think he’d actually like my attending. However, I’m not stuck on going, if they already have something planned…or if we decide to organize something and it’s not appropriate for me to be there.
I will say that it’s funny how you can pop down to City Hall with only your immediate family, and it’s still a wedding. But call it a bachelor party with only 4 people, and it’s apparently not considered a bachelor party! LOL.
Post # 12
i don’t put a lot of stock in a stag night – for those who do, the point isn’t for the bride to micromanage the stag night. It really feels too motherly, as PP mentioned.
you could have a joint party if you want to include him – that would be fun and inclusive.
noun: stag night
a celebration held for a man shortly before his wedding, attended by his male friends only.
any party attended by men only.
You know, it’s totally cool if he’s not into things like this- I mean, it’s kind of outdated anyway.