(Closed) Should I ask? Delicate question :-/

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1074 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

The past is the past. Do you really want to know the signs so you can judge his every step? Why not just lay all the trust out on the table and accept him for who he is.

I’m sure it’s a morbid curiosity that’s getting to you and nothing more.

Fiance and I never talk about our past relationships. Why does it matter? In passing we might mention something, but the foundation of our relationship is based on the present and the future.

 

Post # 5
Member
1066 posts
Bumble bee

@ForeverbluexX:  I also believe past is past but I still get curious.  I think if your partner is okay talking about past then fine.It is what has made him who he is today. I refuse to get jealous over anything from the past though. So I think it is fine as long as you are both comfortable and it isn’t bought into your relationship.

Post # 7
Member
506 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@ForeverbluexX:  I think you should definitely mark out what your cheating boundaries are within your relationship. For instance, my Fiance and I think that sexting is a form of cheating, but many others don’t.  So I don’t think you need to know the details of his past, but you need to discuss what you think is cheating for sure.

Post # 8
Member
973 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

If I were in your shoes, especially if I brought up his past in an arguement I’d say something like “I know I brought up your past and cheating on your ex, that was wrong of me.  I realized, I don’t really care about the details of that, it’s past.  But I don’t know what you consider cheating, and especially since I was cheated on I’m sensitive to the topic.  I’m sorry I brought it up like that, but what I’d really like now if for you to forgive that blunder and for us to talk calmly about what we each feel is cheating and come to an agreement for our relationship.”

Really, being in a relationship, it’s reasonable and beneficial to make sure you’re on the same page about what cheating is.

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