(Closed) Should I ask for flower money?

posted 8 years ago in Flowers
Post # 3
Member
1315 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Ooh I don’t know about that, tough one. Are they willing to shoulder all of the expense of the rehearsal dinner? Cos I’d imagine that’d be a good bit dearer than the flowers?

Post # 4
Member
965 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Personally, I don’t see any ways you can achieve your goal without really upsetting them. If they are paying for the rehearsal dinner (which is traditional) then I would not even ask.

Post # 5
Member
2867 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Hmm if your Fiance isn’t on board it might be kind of hard to do. I’d see if you can convince him that you only need a few people at the Rehearsal Dinner since you’re going to see everyone the next day (and I think they’re suppose to be more intimate).

Then tell him how much you’d love to be able decorate well and maybe the money would be better used for your flowers instead of inviting everyone to two parties.

And then give him big sad eyes and say it would make you really really happy. 🙂

Post # 6
Member
965 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

By asking this you are basically saying “I don’t like the gift you are giving me, so please take it back, but give me the money”

I know all families are different, but I can’t imagine a family where this would be OK.

How do your parents feel about you asking your inlaws to pay for part of the wedding?

I let my fiance ask his parents if they would pay for part of our wedding before I talked to my family, and it turns out my mother was mortified because she thought my future inlaws would this she was the one who needed the help and that she was unable to pay for a wedding, which isn’t the case. we just wanted to break from tradition and not put the whole burden on her, but turns out she prefered it this way.

Post # 7
Member
1995 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I would tell them thank you for their offer and stick to that.  I know flowers seem more important than the rehearsal dinner – but if I was an out of town guest and I had the option of another free dinner or fancier flowers – I’d choose the dinner. 

Post # 9
Member
965 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@June- I totally agree with you on all accounts. Sorry you are footing your own flower bill. I had to cut my flower budget so small that we are basically just getting bouquets. It kinda sucks, but then my best friend reminded me that you don’t need all those decorations because you are going to be so beautiful that no one will notice the missing flowers! =)

Post # 10
Member
1315 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Ooh. The only possibility here, I think, is for him to pull the ‘Awh, Mooooom’ face, and tell her there’s no need for them to go to such expense on the rehearsal dinner, that it doesn’t need to be a big production.

If your date is still 12 months away, then if she agrees with him (plans will often get scaled down as reality bites anyway), he has time to maybe suggest you and her go look at flowers together.

Is this a matter of pride thing, where they want ‘their’ bit of the wedding to be as impressive as any other bit?

If there’s no move on it then jsut suck it up, and look at being as creative as possible on the decor to stretch your budget as far as possible. At least you’ve plenty of time to save.

Do please try to keep in mind that even if it’s not how you would choose, they are being extraordinarily generous. It would be worse if they were contributing to the wedding and trying to lay down the law about choices.

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