Post # 1
My cousin was going out of the country for work a few months before my wedding and so I paid the $70 bridesmaid dress deposit for her. Just before the wedding, she told me she’d pay for my hair in exchange for the $70 when she paid for her own hair, but as I was gifting them most of their hair (which I waited to tell them until I did so in person with their other gifts) this ended up not working out but she was ok with it.
What do I do now? Follow-up and request the $70? I feel awkward doing so (which is why I didn’t hound in the lead up to the wedding), but we spent a lot on gifts for wedding party, parents and guests, about 3 times the recommended amount for our budget, and we’re unintentionally already sucking up the costs of the groomsmen and usher ties ($125) because Darling Husband doesn’t want to go back to ask each of them for $25. (They all expected to pay, it just worked out that we had to pick them all up because the ties started to get discontinued.) I’d let it go considering their wedding gift to us was our transportation, but then I would feel guilty that my SIL (brother’s wife) paid for her whole dress and is in a tighter financial spot than my cousin, who is fairly comfortable. We also gave them a substantial wedding present (paid for their wedding cupcakes) last year, and I wasn’t in her wedding party. Other things: I told about the hair *after* they told us they got us transportation, so that didn’t enter into her calculus. I’m not worried about it having “been too long” since the wedding to ask.
ETA: For those voting let it go, can you explain why? Part of my thought process is that when I paid, we both expected she would repay me. Why does the fact that it’s after a wedding make a difference? (Basically…please convince me more than just my feeling of “I hate to remind people they owe me money.”)
Post # 3
- Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA
It probably just slipped her mind– I would ask her the next time you see her.
Post # 4
@juliette.eliza: She lives in FL…we sadly don’t get to see each other in person very often anymore – 4 times in the past 6 years.
Post # 5
One hand it’s only 70dollars, but budgets are tight planning a wedding so I understand if you need it back. I say send her a gentle reminder like hey cuz please remember the money for your dress and it would be great if it was in cash so I can use it pay tips day of or something like that.
Post # 6
Having unintentionally been ‘that guy’ before I would just ask her for it in whatever form of communication seems best. I was just in a wedding and being from out of state ended up needing things that other people paid for in advance. With everything else that was going on, I very well could have forgotten had they simply not asked me for the money.
Post # 7
I didn’t vote because it depends on the situation.
If your budget is tight and the Bridesmaid or Best Man knew in advance they were supposed to pay and they were okay with it, I will follow up.
If your Bridesmaid or Best Man said she can’t afford paying you back…then I say let it go…but if she simply forgot, then she will pay back right away.
Post # 8
@lamkky: It was known in advance she would repay me, and she didn’t have an issue affording it. (Basically we had to put down the deposit the day she was flying out for a 2 month work stint.) That said, the $70 won’t affect if I eat this week or not, but $70 is a bit more than the $20 I’d let go for a friend. (I was unemployed for almost 2 years recently, so even though I can afford to let it go it would be nice to stop bleeding money at some point.)
Post # 9
I don’t know how you are financially but $70 is WAY too much for me to be okay with brushing off.I mean like $10-$20 I could do, but $70 is almost three weeks worth of gas for me!
I have been in situations like this before I would simply remind them and it’s never a big deal.
I’m so busy and such a scatter brain as it is I would welcome the reminder if I owed money lol.
I wanted to add I agree with the person below my comment, if you can afford it without a problem I’d say let it go and don’t allow the friend to borrow money again.
Post # 10
I voted for let it go, but generally speaking, Fiance and I usually opt to “let it go” and make sure there’s not a “next time”. To be honest, we are fairly comfortable so for us, $70 isn’t a huge hardship. (Not that we are in the habit of just throwing money away.) I would make sure this kind of thing doesn’t happen again. If $70 is a huge problem for you and a huge part of your budget, then I would say something.