(Closed) Should I ask for this ring?

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
454 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@MabelleBliss:  I think you should definitely bring it up!  It sounds like you and FI are pretty open with each other in the whole process.  Use that to your benefit.  You’ve already shown the ring to him, now add that emphasis to it.  The worst that could happen is that Fiance will tell you, “you know, financially I am not where I want to be.”  But even then he’ll have an even better idea of what you LOVE. 

Post # 4
2999 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Show it to him and let him know that you’d like it!

Post # 5
103 posts
Blushing bee

I’m very new but I just wanted to say- tell him!! I know my so is in the process of paying off a ridiculously priced ring because I found the receipt while doing washing and it’s everything I NEVER wanted!!

It’s a real diamond and I did not want anything from a conflict zone and it’s from the most expensive shop our city has- the ring I dreamed of having is $400 (approx I live in the uk) and the receipt I found was for a $3000 ring! Inside I am furious but feel like I can’t say anything because he has already started to make payments. Do it before it’s too late!!

Good luck 🙂 Xx

ETS- any suggestions on my dilemma are very much appreciated 🙂

Post # 7
5075 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

Definitely tell him!  Good luck!

Post # 8
11366 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

This reminds me of something that I heard just last evening about the difference between “implied” communication and “direct” communication.  Our Bible study teacher mentioned this at the end of our class and noted that (of course there are exceptions to this) but many women tend to be “implied” communicators (as in, “I don’t want to have to actually tell him this is what I want, because he should be able to pick up on the fact that I want it based on what I’ve already told him”), and many men tend to be “direct” communicators (as in, “I had no idea you wanted me to buy that/do that for you. Why didn’t you just tell me that?”) 

So, it may be best just to tell him that, ever since he proposed, you’ve been keeping an eye out for rings that interest you, and you’ve fallen in love with this particular ring. Tell him that you think this is THE ONE and that you’d love for him to consider buying it for you if it fits within the ring budget he had in mind. It also would be good to tell him that, because it’s a one-of-a-kind, vintage piece, you’re concerned about someone else possibly buying it before he does, so you believe this is a time-sensitive decision for this particular ring.

Post # 9
1114 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@MabelleBliss:  If you like the ring, tell your fiance about it. Even if it’s perfect, you might be able to find something similar, or you could have one custom made. Even if your partner can’t afford the ring/doesn’t want to buy it for whatever reason/won’t allow you to help pay for it, at least he will know what you like.

Also, @IreGal:  the ring may end up being something you’ll love after all. It could be a Canadian/conflict free diamond. Also, it could be a used diamond. To me, even a used diamond that comes from a conflict zone is still reducing the number of new conflict stones. As for the price, your Boyfriend or Best Friend obviously feels you’re worth it. I’ve had to get over my Boyfriend or Best Friend spending way more on me than I want him to spend long ago, because he ALWAYS does it. When I do get mad, he tells me he just wants to give me everything I deserve and more, and he can afford to spoil me. I actually really enjoy it now, instead of feeling guilty about it like I used to.

Post # 10
663 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2017 - Vegas Wedings

@MabelleBliss:  That is such a good deal! I say tell, only because if you don’t do anything you’ll probably be kicking yourself when someone buys the ring you’re in love with.

Post # 11
385 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@IreGal:  it depend on the store, but if you really don’t like the ring when he gets it, he can usually return it within 30-60 days. Then, you can tell him you love him and really appreciate that he wanted the best for you, but there’s a style you incidentally fell in love with. 

Post # 12
231 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@MabelleBliss:  Oh my, with a coupon and everything? He should be thanking you when you tell him! Good luck!

Post # 13
2007 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

tell him!  thats a great deal and opportunity, and if he wants to get you a ring then this one sounds perfect!

Post # 14
10366 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Under $200 for an engagement ring is basically free haha. I would just get it! Also, you will be combining finances anyway – might as well optimize your cash flow for savings vs debt payment now and chip in for the ring!

Post # 15
823 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I say let him know! It might ease his worries!!

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