(Closed) Should I ask future SIL? need some advice!

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
146 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Honestly………..I would ask her to be in it. I asked my 2 future SILs to be in my wedding, although I did not want to, and one of them did not have me in hers. I just feel like you can’t go wrong asking, but by not asking you risk having potential hurt feelings and unnecessary drama.

Post # 5
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

You shouldnt be guilt tripped into including someone in the bridal party that you dont really want in there.  If you have a friend you are closer to than her and would rather put that friend in then do that. Its different if this was your FI’s actualy sister but this is his sister-in-law! You dont just add people to the bridal party so they dont feel left out. You choose people that you actually want to stand up there with you because you have some connection with them. Personally I would put my foot down and say no. She can play some other role in the wedding.

Post # 6
Member
146 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I guess it really depends on your relationship.

In theory, I agree with the above user that you shouldn’t be guilter into asking. However, I also know that things play out differently in real life. Yes, I wish I wasn’t guilt-tripped into asking my future SILs, I also know them and our relationship enough that if I hadn’t asked them, at least one of them would have thrown a giant tantrum. Yes, it is ridiculous to give in, but I thought about my overall goals, in this case being to have a great drama-free day.

Post # 8
Member
237 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I would say just talk to the SIL in about it. If you guys get along and are friendly she willl probaly be honset with you about whether she thinks it would be an honor or a burdren. Explain the uneven numbers and ask her if she would like to be included in that way or if she would rather be included by doing a reading or some other job. I think you should find a way to include her (you already have a big party) and make everyone happy. It is your day but it is also important to both of yoru families and it would not be owrht having hurt feelings. Jsut my opinion. I did ask my Future Sister-In-Law to be in the wedding and I know she (and his family) were vrey happy that I includded her.

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