(Closed) Should I ask her to be a BM or not?

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Should I ask Elizabeth to be a BM?
    Yes : (1 votes)
    8 %
    No : (12 votes)
    92 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    761 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2011

    I personally would not ask because it seems like you put more into the relationship then her. I would compromise and ask her to be involved in activities around the wedding so she is around but not as tied down in case she goes MIA again.

    Post # 4
    Member
    581 posts
    Busy bee

    I’m thinking she doesn’t value the friendship as much as you do.   If you have an extra spot open for a Bridesmaid or Best Man, then maybe consider it–but only if you have an extra spot.  People change and relationships change, and my inclination would be to let her go.

    Post # 5
    Member
    177 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I would think about whether or not you can see her in your life years down the road. Is she someone that will stay in contact with you for a long time, or when times get tough, will she disappear from your life again? My Future Mother-In-Law told me that she had her two ‘best friends’ in her wedding party and after her wedding barely saw them again. She hasn’t talked to either of them in decades. When I made my decision for my bridal party, I chose people who I was certain I would continue to be friends with forever (hopefully!). So maybe she is someone you can see in your future, but history usually repeats itself. She didn’t even let you know she was having a baby! Something to think about… I voted for ‘no’.

    Post # 6
    Member
    247 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2011 - The Viceroy

    Weddings can alter friendships, as you clearly know, both for good and bad.  Do you want to be close friends with her again?  If you do, ask her to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man.  If you don’t, just send her an invite.   

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