(Closed) Should I ask her to be my BM so late?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
5480 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I would NOT replace a BM.  It makes your BM feel replaceable, and the replacement feel like a …replacement.

If I were you, I’d make sure to get her a nice ‘thank you’ gift, or offer to take her to dinner sometime after the wedding to express your appreciation.  Let her know that you love her and are so thankful for everything she’s done.

Post # 4
9145 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

I was asked at the last minute to be a BM and I was extremely offended because I was being asked to make sure the numbers of BMs and GMs were equal.  I ultimately turned her down.  If you phrase the request the right way and tell her you really wanted to include her before but it wasn’t possible and now it is, she may not be upset by it especially with all of the work that she’s put in it.

Post # 6
23 posts
  • Wedding: November 2012

I agree with the rest of the posters. I think being a “replacement” has a bit of a stigma to it unless she is tye type of person who wouldn’t have a problem with it. 

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