(Closed) Should I ask her to step down?

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
212 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I’m surprised that you asked her to be in your wedding party in the first place, since you’re not close anymore. If you hadn’t had the history in middle school, is this someone you would have invited to the wedding otherwise? If not, that’s something to think about.

It’s also in bad form (etiquette-wise) to ask someone to step down, but if it’s just not happening, it’s not happening. I would talk to her about what’s going on and how you’ve grown apart. Tell you that you will always cherish the memories you had as children. 

Post # 5
Member
672 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@MissAnnerz:  I have been best friends with my bf since 6th grade (20 years). I was Maid/Matron of Honor at her wedding in 2003, but since we have grown apart. She doesn’t know how to juggle married life, a part time job and two kids, so she is ALWAYS unavailable. When we got engaged I was so excited to call her, but she didn’t answer Frown. I left a message and didn’t receive a call back for a few weeks. I wanted to ask her to be my Maid/Matron of Honor, I have 4 sisters and didn’t want to choose, but knew I couldn’t count on her. We barely talk anymore and it breaks my heart. But, we all grow up and, unfortunately, that means we might take different paths in life. My Fiance told me when I was torn on whether or not to ask her to be in the wedding party that I don’t owe her anything, especially since she doesn’t make time for our friendship anymore. Anyways, long story short, I can feel your pain. It is a tough situation, but that was a promise made between friends as teenagers that didn’t continue to blossom into adulthood. You don’t owe her anything, if you feel you want to ask her to step down as Bridesmaid or Best Man, I support you. 

 

Post # 7
Member
672 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@MissAnnerz:  You’re welcome. If you need to talk just let me know. 

Post # 9
Member
212 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I wouldn’t say what you did is awful, I think it’s nice that you’re remembering the friendship you used to have. Good luck with whatever you decide to do!

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