(Closed) should i ask her to step down?

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 4
Member
3476 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

Have you gone to visit her??? 

There could be a million reasons why she’s not responding, maybe she dumped water on her computer– or her phone got stolen– or she lost her job and is scrambling to get her life together again. 

I think the best action would be to go visit her, see what’s going on, and decide if you still want her in your wedding party then.  

Post # 5
Member
1681 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Have you tried every possible mode of contact? It sounds like you have. I would try to call to call her parent/sibling or a mutual friend. If she’s alive and well, then it sounds lke you want her in your life a lot more than she wants you. 

Unfortunately, I’m going through the same thing with my MOH.. and it sucks 🙁 I just stopped trying.

Post # 6
Member
8888 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Don’t be so quick to ask her to step down. Give her the benefit of the doubt and give her a call or go visit her. You have lots of time, work on getting the friendship back to where it was.

Post # 8
Member
1072 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Your wedding is still more than a year away (if your posted date is correct) so she probably isn’t responding to your facebook group posts because it is waaaaaay early.  I personally think its really rude to ask a bridesmaid to step down unless she does something awful.  I suggest you send her a message saying “Hey I haven’t heard from you in a while, is everything ok? I really miss you!”

Post # 9
Member
8888 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I know how frustrating that must be. I went through it with a BM, things did not end well but I made every effort to get together and talk, or get on the phone and talk.  At least if you put in the effort, you can say you tried!

Post # 11
Member
61 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I’ve got my own BM drama right now so I understand how difficult it is!  I also know that it feels like you jut can’t keep trying but I definately encourage you to keep trying!

Post # 13
Member
61 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I whole heartadly agree! I bet she’s mad at you for someting you have absolutely no idea about.  I wuold probably call her, leave a messaging saying it’s very important that you return my call, if you don’t I don’t think this is goign to work out, etc

Post # 15
Member
1294 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

perhaps give yourself a mental deadline. You clearly have made an effort here to include her and get ahold of her, and her responding to messages is not that difficult.. I would say okay, I have tried, now if she doesnt make an effort by Christmas time (or a year out from your wedding date) I will ask her if she still feels like she can be a bridesmaid. That she is really important to you and you would love for her to be there and for her support but you cant have a bridesmaid that is MIA all the time.  If you are making an effort and carefully apporach her with this after your mental deadline and STILL get no response, I would be inclined to find another place for her in the wedding.

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