Post # 1
My SIL is recently engaged and received a super pretty and sparkly ring. And it is rather big, at 2+ carats.
I was commenting on how beautiful it was and she took it off for me to take a closer look. From a distance, I just assumed that it was a diamond but up close I could clearly tell it was not a diamond.
Could it perhaps be a Moissanite? I have never seen one before in person and I am curious! It really is a pretty stone.
Here are the features I noticed:
– Super sparkly in most lights, but it seemed to take on a gray color and lose its sparkle under the kitchen lights.
– Different cut than I am used to seeing in diamonds. It had a big burst shape in the center rather than the diamond star shape.
– The inner depth/appearance of the stone also appeared to be different
When I first held it up close, I didn’t want to ask what it was for fear that I would embarrass her. My husband did quite a lot of research on my ring and we were all really surprised by the diamond he picked out (so much bigger than I was expecting). So, I am a bit worried about making things awkward between us in the case that she wants others to think her stone is a diamond.
At the same time, I’m also interested in learning more about the stone and her experiences. (I’d love to actually get some moissy studs one day!!)
What do you ladies think – should I actually ask if it is a moissanite or what type of stone is it? If so, what is a good technique for asking?
Otherwise, do you think it is too sensitive of a topic to bring up? (I don’t want to upset her)
Thanks so much for your thoughts!
Post # 2
I dont know, after all the research I’ve done on moissanites I think its fairly difficult for people to tell through the naked eye if it is a moissanite or not. It may just be a diamond with an old style cut that is fairly uncommon (OMC, Transitional, ETC)
Maybe she does not even know it as well and asking her may make things awkward. Why not just comment on how beautiful the ring is and see how the conversation progresses from there? Confronting her on her ring & the potential non-diamond aspect of it can (and probably) come off rude and pretentious, whether or not that was your intention.
Post # 3
VintageJuly: Don’t ask if it is a moissanite, that is rude and asking for trouble. It also seems like you are fishing for info to show it’s not a diamond.
If you are genuinely curious about seeing a moissy in real life, go to the store and look there.
Post # 4
I would not ask. I agree with a pp, if you’re interested to learn more about them, research them yourself and go look at them in person where you can. But don’t ask. My SIL who I am not close to at all recently got engaged and asked me how big my center diamond is and I was like… uhhh I don’t know. I do know, but it’s none of her business to ask such a personal question about my ring when she doesn’t even try to have any kind of relationship with me. Not to mention, she’s the type who likes to “one-up” people.
Post # 5
I’m in agreement with you ladies! I’m not going to ask/bring it up at all.
Plus, if she didn’t volunteer the information when I first saw it, it’s best to not ask. (I used to hate those awkward ring questions when I was engaged!)
Post # 6
Don’t ask, and go ahead and order yourself some moissanite studs because they’re awesome.
Post # 7
Don’t ask. That would be embarrassing, if she wanted you to know she would have told you when she took it off for you to look. Wanting a pair of moissy studs one day is not a good reason to ask if her engagement ring is moissanite. Earrings and an engagement ring are two totally different things and could make her feel inferior especially since your getting a diamond engagement ring. It would be different if you were interested in a moissy for your engagement ring. So no don’t ask her because she obviously doesn’t want anyone to know.
Post # 8
I think your window for asking has passed. If you saw it and were immediately like “wow oh my lord, its gorgeous, is this a diamond its amazing?!” fine, though she might very well just lie about it.
If you weeks later say “hey I thought about it, and is your ring a diamond? I noticed the cut and sparkles are different.,” she will likely get offended whether it is or isnt. Because at that point its clear youre playing detective and not innocently curious. If it is a diamond she’ll be pissed you thought she was pretending, if it isnt she could be really defensive/panicked/embarressed if shes trying to play it off. If shes proud of her moissy, amora etc she’ll probably just hear your judgement, that you want to be reassured your diamond is still “better”.
So I would just leave it be. Its kind of obvious in a larger stone, so I would just leave it to a less tactful person to pop that question. Its kind of obvious between the lines with your mentions of your larger-than-exected, impressive diamond that you have a horse in this race, so your comments will likely not be well recieved!
Post # 9
VintageJuly: It definitely sounds like moissanite from what you’ve described. Once you see a moissonite up close, its easy to recognize next time especially when they’re bigger. She didn’t volunteer what it is so she either doesn’t know or doesn’t want others to know. I probably would not ask but it depends on what your relationship is with her. Youre getting a real diamond, would she think you’re asking just to be mean?
Post # 10
Dont ask… if she wanted to tell you, she would have. 🙂
Post # 11
I’m glad you have decided not to press the issue. Essentially, there is no polite way of saying, “I think your ring isn’t a diamond”, no matter how polite or interested or anything else you appear to be. It is perceived as a put-down and will likely never be taken well. If she wanted people to know it was an alternative, she would have told you already.