Post # 1
I wanted a very specific cake from a specific bakery for my bridal shower. Semi-family tradition but mostly was looking forward to an excuse for having said cake.
I did tell my two MOHs about it a few weeks ago. i even offered to pay for it. I found out from Maid/Matron of Honor #2 that Maid/Matron of Honor #1 flat out refused to get the cake and instead wanted a homemade dessert bar. It actually caused a big issue between them
I realize this is an insanely stupid and bridezilla ish thing for me to worry about. But I still would like the cake. I could get it myself, bring it up again and for the second time request it, or just deal with not having it.
‘Deal with not having it’ is probably going to be the most popular answer. I know that. Part of this goes back to Maid/Matron of Honor #1s shower. She planned every aspect of the event, even as her Maid/Matron of Honor I essentially just showed up and handed her presents to open. I had a post a few months ago about how fed up I was with her entitled and controlling behavior. So after dealing with her I don’t think it’s as ridiculous to tell her I want the specific cake.
Post # 2
As your mother probably said “Two wrongs don’t make a right.”
Back away from being that bride.
Post # 3
I honestly wouldnt want a Maid/Matron of Honor who wanted to do everything her way. If you want the cake, then get the damn cake. If you are paying for it, who cares? I would just tell her you dont want the dessert bar and you want the cake so you will get the cake. Its pretty stupid how this is even an issue. GET THE CAKE IF YOU WANT IT! ITS YOUR SHOWER!!
Post # 4
- Wedding: September 2014 - Dallas, TX
They are hosting your shower, you should let them make the decisions.
Post # 5
I’m also on the ‘get your cake train’. If you want it and are willing to pay for it, then get it. After all, the shower is for you… it makes sense for you to have things you want there.
When I’ve been apart of planning showers for friends I ALWAYS ask what they would like/prefer. If they don’t like it it’s kind of a giant waste of time seeing as the details/theme will only matter to the person you’re throwing it for.
Post # 6
Get the cake and bring it as a thank you for those you attend and throw the shower.
Post # 7
In any other situation I would just say deal with it, but you have told your Maid/Matron of Honor that you want this cake and have even offered to pay for it. AND your other Maid/Matron of Honor even stood up for your cake. I say tell the one that stood up for you that you’re still getting the cake. And if the other Maid/Matron of Honor doesn’t like that, she can be the one to deal with it.
Post # 8
- Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas
Get the cake. I don’t see the problem if you are paying for it, anyway.
Post # 9
Your friend was not right in planning her own shower.
I don’t understand this sense of entitlement — “It’s my shower I want it my way!”
Showers hosted by someone other than the bride. To throw a shower for someone is an incredibly generous thing to do, and it is not at all mandatory.
That being said, just because your friend did it does not give you the right to act in a similar way! It’s just a cake. If you don’t have it at your shower, buy it at another time. Celebrate your upcoming nuptuals with your Fiance, your favorite cake, and some champagne. Be happy with whatever your bridesmaids do for you and be gracious because none of it is an obligation.
Post # 10
The right thing to do is not be brat and smile and be gracious, I know that. ugghggh but I still want my damn cake! Maybe I’ll just get it for the rehearsal dinner and deal with the insane amount of leftovers.
I have had this issue with her before. She gets soooooo dug into what she wants to do. And I’m not afraid to admit part still wants to do the same and stomp my feet like a toddler and scream ‘MEEEEE I WANT!!!’
thanls for listening to me againnnnnn bees!
Post # 11
Or just buy it and bring it yourself…..it is just a cake though
Post # 12
I would definitely be walking into that party with a cake in hand lol I love me some good cake though.
Post # 13
Getting the cake does not make you a bridezilla. It is a simple request and not something anyone should dispute ESPECIALLY if you offered to pay
Post # 14
If having the cake there holds more sentimental value than just desire, then I’d bring it up again by saying how much it would mean to you to have the cake there because it is special. If you just want the cake because it’s yummy (which I totally get – I’m a self-proclaimed cake snob), buy it for another occassion. There are lots of opportunities for said cake during the wedding planning process, so let your friends take the reigns on the shower and be grateful for their efforts. If you do arrive with your own cake, you’d look really unappreciative, regardless of the backstory. :-/
Post # 15
I’m not sure why you can’t pitch it as, “Thank you so much for planning and executing my shower! I’m so appreciative for all your hard work, so why don’t you let me take care of paying for and bringing the dessert?” and then GET THAT CAKE! I don’t think offering to help in one specific way makes you a bridezilla taking over the whole shower.
If after that suggestion Maid/Matron of Honor 1 freaks out, then drop it, choke down a couple brownies from the dessert bar, and then get an extra-big cake for the rehearsal dinner.