(Closed) Should I ask my bridesmaids/MOHs about this again?

posted 6 years ago in Food
Post # 2
Member
47436 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

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LAX03:  As your mother probably said “Two wrongs don’t make a right.”

Back away from being that bride.

Post # 3
Member
254 posts
Helper bee

I honestly wouldnt want a Maid/Matron of Honor who wanted to do everything her way. If you want the cake, then get the damn cake. If you are paying for it, who cares? I would just tell her you dont want the dessert bar and you want the cake so you will get the cake. Its pretty stupid how this is even an issue. GET THE CAKE IF YOU WANT IT! ITS YOUR SHOWER!!

Post # 4
Member
1914 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Dallas, TX

They are hosting your shower, you should let them make the decisions.

Post # 5
Member
2696 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

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LAX03:  I’m also on the ‘get your cake train’. If you want it and are willing to pay for it, then get it. After all, the shower is for you… it makes sense for you to have things you want there.

When I’ve been apart of planning showers for friends I ALWAYS ask what they would like/prefer. If they don’t like it it’s kind of a giant waste of time seeing as the details/theme will only matter to the person you’re throwing it for.

Post # 6
Member
2453 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Get the cake and bring it as a thank you for those you attend and throw the shower.

Post # 7
Member
1982 posts
Buzzing bee

In any other situation I would just say deal with it, but you have told your Maid/Matron of Honor that you want this cake and have even offered to pay for it. AND your other Maid/Matron of Honor even stood up for your cake. I say tell the one that stood up for you that you’re still getting the cake. And if the other Maid/Matron of Honor doesn’t like that, she can be the one to deal with it.

Post # 8
Member
2959 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

Get the cake. I don’t see the problem if you are paying for it, anyway. 

Post # 9
Member
2266 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

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LAX03:  Your friend was not right in planning her own shower.

I don’t understand this sense of entitlement — “It’s my shower I want it my way!”

Showers hosted by someone other than the bride. To throw a shower for someone is an incredibly generous thing to do, and it is not at all mandatory. 

That being said, just because your friend did it does not give you the right to act in a similar way! It’s just a cake. If you don’t have it at your shower, buy it at another time. Celebrate your upcoming nuptuals with your Fiance, your favorite cake, and some champagne. Be happy with whatever your bridesmaids do for you and be gracious because none of it is an obligation.

 

Post # 11
Member
701 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Or just buy it and bring it yourself…..it is just a cake though

Post # 12
Member
3584 posts
Sugar bee

I would definitely be walking into that party with a cake in hand lol I love me some good cake though. 

Post # 13
Member
824 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Getting the cake does not make you a bridezilla. It is a simple request and not something anyone should dispute ESPECIALLY if you offered to pay

Post # 14
Member
620 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

If having the cake there holds more sentimental value than just desire, then I’d bring it up again by saying how much it would mean to you to have the cake there because it is special. If you just want the cake because it’s yummy (which I totally get – I’m a self-proclaimed cake snob), buy it for another occassion. There are lots of opportunities for said cake during the wedding planning process, so let your friends take the reigns on the shower and be grateful for their efforts. If you do arrive with your own cake, you’d look really unappreciative, regardless of the backstory. :-/

Post # 15
Member
448 posts
Helper bee

I’m not sure why you can’t pitch it as, “Thank you so much for planning and executing my shower! I’m so appreciative for all your hard work, so why don’t you let me take care of paying for and bringing the dessert?” and then GET THAT CAKE! I don’t think offering to help in one specific way makes you a bridezilla taking over the whole shower.

If after that suggestion Maid/Matron of Honor 1 freaks out, then drop it, choke down a couple brownies from the dessert bar, and then get an extra-big cake for the rehearsal dinner.

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