(Closed) Should I ask my coworkers to be my BMs?

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
2117 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

You could ask them, but you also don’t have to have bridesmaids. We aren’t having bridesmaids or groomsmen, just Maid/Matron of Honor, Bridesmaid or Best Man, 2 FGs and 2 RBs. 

Post # 4
9139 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

Do you regularly hang out with them outside of work?  If so, then absolutely.  Otherwise, I would suggest sticking to the two BMs you already have and leaving it at that.  The more BMs the more likely you will have to deal with Bridesmaid or Best Man related stress.

Post # 5
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I would say no, but only because I feel like the friends made at work don’t stick around if you/they leave the job. I have had friends in the past that I would consider my best friends but as soon as I left the company I rarely heard from them, not for a lack of effort on my part.

Post # 7
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@alohapanda:   If you don’t think that you would wind up regretting it then definitely go for it!!

Post # 8
396 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I know how you feel as I don’t have many girlfriends either, and thus I have my sister as Maid/Matron of Honor and my best (girl) friend as my bridesmaid.  However, I don’t think you should ask them.  There are posts on here all the time about difficult bridesmaids –after three months you really don’t know what they might be like when it comes to being a bridesmaid.   I just think it’s kind of awkward to ask someone you’ve only known for three months and only because you happen to work together.  It’s kind of a big committment on their part even if you don’t really seem phased by not having known them too long/what would happen if you aren’t friends anymore in the future.

Post # 9
506 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@alohapanda:  I was just in a coworkers wedding and I will never talk to her again. I was close with her while we worked together, but only talked wedding once she switched to another job. I really wished that I hadn’t been in her wedding. Then again I’m sure my situation is different lol this girl asked all randoms and we were all kind of resentful spending over 600 for a wedding to a bridezilla

Post # 10
3885 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I really wouldn’t have a bridesmaid that I’ve only known for a few months. That’s not enough time to really get to know someone, and this site is full to the brim with stories about bad bridesmaid choices.

Post # 12
111 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Your bridesmaids should be your closest friends – period. Nice though they may be, if you’ve only known these woman for a few months then you may not want to ask them to participate in your wedding. Even if it means fewer bridesmaids, go with the people who are most important to you. This is a special time in your life, and you shouldn’t ask people who don’t know you well to share it with you.

Post # 14
4192 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

I wouldn’t ask them- it doesn’t sound like these relationships are that close. Better to have a small, intimate bridal party with women you’re close with. I had two matrons of honor, Darling Husband had 3 groomsmen, and I’m really happy I kept with a smaller size.

Post # 15
3769 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo

Since your date is August 2014, I would definitely recommend waiting to ask them, or anyone — a lot can change in a year and 6 months, especially at work.  I actually have the less monumentous decision of whether or not to invite coworkers (I got engaged 3/12, wedding 8/13 so a long time in between) and there are coworkers I’ve hung out with outside of work and we go out to lunch every day, but things happen, they get transferred or leave the company, and you realize that a best friend from work is really not the same thing as, say, a best friend from college.  Anyway, it might be different for you and these girls, but I would still urge you to wait until at least a year away from the wedding to choose.

Post # 16
5001 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

If you do, don’t ask them yet! If your wedding really is August 2014, I would wait until the end of this year. Then you’ll have been friends for longer and will have a better idea if it’s a lasting friendship.

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