(Closed) Should I ask my friend who lives across the country to do my makeup?

posted 4 years ago in Beauty
Post # 2
701 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

Maybe you can present the idea and ask what she thinks about it? Tell her you really like her work and if it wouldn’t be too much of a hassle, you would like her to travel to ____ to do your wedding makeup. 

Post # 3
150 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

Were you planning on inviting her as a guest before you had this idea?

Post # 4
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

I think if she’s coming cross country just for your wedding and isn’t going to be a guest who was attending anyway (you didn’t specify) then you should cover the cost of her travel, shipping supplies/equipment, and hotel. Sure, it may be tax deductible, but she will have to come out of pocket for it and then get it back in her refund months later which may be very costly for her upfront.

Of course she may be totally willing to pay all of that to do your makeup, but personally I wouldn’t ask someone to incur that cost on their own (as well as not being able to make money for the 1-3 days she’ll need to travel to you and do your makeup).

Post # 7
1243 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
brucebogtrotter :  If you are going to ask her to provide a professional service, especially if thats what she does for a living, then regardless of whether or not you would have asked her to be a guest, you need to be paying for whatever rate she specifies for travelling to a client. If she offers to do it at a discount or some other arrangement, that’s for her to decide. But you can’t expect her to do it for free. 

So yes, you can ask, but be prepared to pay her something.

Post # 8
11385 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

View original reply
brucebogtrotter :  usually travel and per diem are paid for by the client, just FYI, including travel days– but maybe she could still deduct the travel- im just saying, she might expect you to pay if you’re actually hiring her. 


Post # 10
2345 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Definitely! But insist on paying her. This is her job and doing your make-up will significantly impact on her experience on the day compared to a normal guest. We have friends with very useful skills (electrician for example) we carefully explained when he attempted to refuse payment, that if he didn’t let us pay him, we’d feel we could never ask him again and that would be our loss, as a competent, available electrician is not available on every street corner. 

Nobody asks lawyers or accountants to do divorces or tax returns for free because they are wedding guests, it should be no different for other professions.  I think bakers, photographers and hair and beauty practitioners get asked for freebies an awful lot. 

Of course if she absolutely insists on doing it gratis as her gift to you, then you can only gratefully accept. 

Post # 11
1149 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I wouldn’t ask her. You may not be totally comfortable giving her honest feedback and I just never like to mix business with friendships.  Also, she won’t enjoy your wedding as much if she has to work beforehand and maybe do a touch up during.  I also think you should do a hair and makeup trial around a month before the wedding, not the day before.  You’ll have enough going on.  

Post # 12
632 posts
Busy bee

Yeah, the travel gets complicated when you try to logic out the separation between ‘guest’ and ‘vendor’.

If you ask her to do the makeup before you receive her RSVP, then she can’t really make her decision about whether she wants to pay to fly to be a guest at your wedding freely. The vendor-ask complicates her decision, and might put her in a situation where she says yes when she would have said no as a pure guest.

And if you wait until she’s already RSVP’d, then 1) it will be awfully late to find someone else, if she can’t/won’t do it and 2) even if she can, she will then not have the same flexibility to cancel her RSVP if something comes up (where as a pure guest she might have been able to regretfully cancel out).

So, once she’s asked, she’s under far more of an obligation than a regular guest to see it through – and with plane tickets involved, that’s a burden that you can’t take lightly.

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