(Closed) Should I ask my future sister-in-law to be my bridesmaid?

posted 4 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Should I ask my future sister-in-law to be a bridesmaid?
    Yes, you should still ask her! : (20 votes)
    44 %
    No, explain the situation, and offer her another way to feel included in the wedding! : (23 votes)
    51 %
    Other (please explain) : (2 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 16
    Member
    1754 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2016

    I agree on junior bridesmaid, although I was fine with making her a regular bridesmaid (that’s what I voted for). You don’t have any issues with her – the only issue seems to be that you don’t see her as often because she lives in a different state. If you can make an effort to include her in the conversation on the morning of, she won’t feel left out and will instead feel really nicely included. It’s fine if she can’t make the parties. That’s not the important part of the bridesmaid role anyway. 

    Post # 17
    Member
    209 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: January 2017 - Maui, Hawaii

    Just for a perspective, I was a bridesmaid in my brother’s wedding when I was 18.  I was not close to my SIL, and really not close to my brother at that time either, so I really felt like I was asked out of obligation, and I accepted out of obligation as well.  I felt kind of awkward about it, really.  I would have preferred to have just been a guest.  Of course, it didn’t help that I was missing welcome week my freshman year of college to be at the wedding and bridal party-related events and that I hated how the dress I had to wear made me look! I think it really depends on the person and the problem is you aren’t close enough to her to know if she would care! It’s a catch 22! I’d have my fiance do some sleuthing.  

    Post # 18
    Member
    3879 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2017

    Ask her if you want her, don’t if not! If you’re only asking her out of guilt for some reason don’t do it, if you actually do want to include her, do it. She’d probably be stoked 🙂 One of my bridemaids is out of state too and just had a baby, so I’m not really expecting her to do much except turn up on the day, it’s more a symbolic position. You could do that with your Future Sister-In-Law. Just give your other BMs a heads up to make sure she’s not left out on the day and I’m sure it would be fine.

    Post # 19
    Member
    82 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: June 2016 - Old Lake County Courthouse

    She can be a hostess or she can do a reading at the ceremony. 

    Post # 20
    Member
    478 posts
    Helper bee

    I would ask her if its what you would like. My sister and I were bridesmaids for a cousin, along with her friend who was her maid of honor. At the time, I was 18 and my sister was 16. My sister was not old enough to go to bars at the time (legal alcohol purchase age here is 18), and neither of us participated in the hens night. I didnt feel left out. It was lovely that my cousin wanted us as part of her bridal party, and it wasnt about the parties etc. To be honest, it would have felt awkward to have gone to the events before the wedding, since we didnt know the other bridal party members at all, and we were by far the youngest. If there are events planned that your sister in law wont be able to participate in I would just tell her that because of her age it would be inappropriate, but that you would love for her to be part of your bridal party on the day.

    Post # 21
    Member
    113 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2017

    You say you get along, she’s nice, but you are not that close. I wouldn’t really want someone I’m not that close with as a bridesmaid, even if it is seen as a nice gesture. Why don’t you give her a special job to do at the ceremony if you still want to include her, like a reading or something (if she wants to).

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