(Closed) Should I ask or let it go?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Should I ask her to be honest about the real reason why she isn't coming anymore:yes or no?
    Yes ask her : (12 votes)
    17 %
    No, let sleeping dogs lie : (59 votes)
    83 %
  • Post # 3
    3823 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    @imnotarunner7:  Let it go. You can’t tell or question other adults about what’s going on in their wallets. 

    When you have a destination wedding, that’s one of the risks you run. Don’t lose focus on what’s important.

    Post # 4
    4518 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    @imnotarunner7:  Sorry this happened. 🙁 You have had 10 BMs drop out and are down to 1? 

    I would *not* ask her about the tickets. Maybe she won them, maybe they were a gift, or yeah, maybe she spent her own money on them… it’s up to her to decide how she wants to spend her money. It sucks that she won’t be there for you on your wedding, but that’s her choice. Nothing you say about the show tickets will help.

    Post # 5
    1408 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    No. Do not ask her about it. Its not your business how she chooses to spend her money. One of my Bridesmaid or Best Man and myself used to be friends with a woman who lived in another state. Everytime we didnt go there for her birthday (and my Bridesmaid or Best Man dropped out of this womans Destination Wedding bc of money as well), she would always question how we could afford such & such that we talked about on FB. It was extremely frustrating and neither one of us are friends with her now. Its a risk you take when having a Destination Wedding. If you want to have any sort of relationship with her in the future, just let it go & enjoy your wedding day. 

    Post # 6
    955 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Even if you did confront her about it, what’s the likelihood she would answer honestly if it hurts you?  In this situation, I firmly believe it’s best to let it go….asking would only put a possible strain on the relationship.


    Destination Wedding are tough– its a tradeoff when you think that this is what you wanted but not everyone is able to attend along with you.   Try to focus on the most important thing– you are getting married!!!



    Post # 7
    6221 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

    It is really not any of your business what she does with her money, unfortunately. That is the risk you run when having a destination wedding =(. Just try to move past it and remember that the only people you need are yoursel, your FH, and someone to marry you.

    Post # 8
    2390 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    This is why I would never have a destination wedding.  Not because I would be afraid of people dropping out, but because I would never, ever ask anyone to spend that kind of money on something I planned.  People feel obligated to say yes because, you know, it’s your wedding, but they often don’t want to go or renege because they can’t go.

    Post # 9
    4272 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    Let it go. She probably really dosn’t have the money and having to explain that again would probably be even more humiliating.

    Post # 10
    84 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    Let it go… She’ll just upset you more.

    Post # 11
    4371 posts
    Honey bee

    Destination weddings are expensive. She may have wanted to go to another vacation previously planned and doesn’t have the money to go to both places. I would let it go.

    Post # 12
    4429 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    @imnotarunner7:  i would not ask her caz its not going to change her mind. to be honest i personally could not afford to attend a destination wedding and be in  the bridal party ; ( we just dont have money like that unless it was at income tax time ; ) if you ask her it will only make her feel worst then she already feels.

    Post # 13
    5956 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2018

    Trust me, you don’t want to know the answer to this question.  It’s only going to hurt your feelings and make things between you and your friend worse. 

    Post # 14
    8576 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2014

    As PP said, this is the risk you have when you plan a destination wedding.

    Post # 15
    1068 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    What do you mean by “she has tickets to some how” I am confused.

    Post # 16
    437 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I’m sorry you’re going through this.  1 bridesmaid is the perfect number though, imho.  Could be worse!  Still a bummer though…

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