(Closed) Should I ask this girl to be my MOH?

posted 4 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
659 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

Welcome to the bee! 

Honestly, I would not ask her. I don’t even think I’ll ask her to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man because she sounds like trouble! 

She mentioning her “other best friends” sounds like she’s insecure and needed to brag to you that she has other friends too. And the fact that she abandoned you when you needed support the most when you had health issues is a shitty thing to do to a “best friend.” She doesn’t sound like one.

Has she always been like this? Did something happen to her and/or love life in the past year? It sounds really cold and sudden. Is she, perhaps, jealous that all her friends are getting married?

Post # 4
9527 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

You both sound very young. It sounds like both of you are moving in life and subsequently moving away from each other. Being a Maid/Matron of Honor is draining, financially, time wise and emotionally. She is probably looking forward to no longer “always a bridesmaid and no longer a bride”. Are you sure she wants to be your MOH? It sounds clear she doesn’t.

As for attending a “first ever” wedding fair… many people attend alone. Myself included. It is not a big deal. I do not understand how it would be “humiliating”. There will be several times in this process you will have to do things alone, make decisions and do projects with just the Fiance or by yourself. Your friend has her own life. She can;t hold your hand the entire way.

Post # 7
888 posts
Busy bee

She sounds like a jealous brat. Even if I attended a hundred weddings, if my best friend, close friend or even aquaintence got engaged I would be happy for them and I would never say “oh no”!!! The fact that she wasnt there for you when you were unwell is also horrible. I would say to her look I really wanted you to be my Maid/Matron of Honor but I get the impression youre not wanting that so I might ask FIs sister. Something tells me though that she will make a huge drama out of it 🙁

Post # 8
6272 posts
Bee Keeper


Post # 9
1065 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: South Lodge. 2nd of Dec 2017

mrgswifetobe:  Should I ask this girl …….. Your own title suggests not.  It’s time to accept your friendship for what it is, not what it was.  I would not have her as a moh, would I have her as a bridesmaid ummmmm not sure about that either.  

Post # 11
71 posts
Worker bee

I agree, good call in making your Future Sister-In-Law the maid of honor. It’ll avoid the drama of your “best friend” and MOH not being excited enough or participating enough in your wedding, and since it’s your Future Sister-In-Law it’s also not like you’re choosing another friend over her.

My best friend seems very similar to yours. She is most likely going to be my Maid/Matron of Honor (when my SO actually proposes, hopefully on our vaca at the end of this year!), but I’d rather pick someone else. Maybe I’ll steal your idea and pick my Future Sister-In-Law instead haha.

Post # 12
994 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

I think you’ve come up with a great alternative.

If your friend comes back and goes “but I’M your best friend” tell her you wanted to make it an opportunity to bond with your new sister.. because after all you and your BFF are ACTUALLY Best Friends for life (eye roll)

Good luck with planning, congratultions and welcome to the Bee!!!

Post # 15
886 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

mrgswifetobe:  If your Future Sister-In-Law will be thrilled to be next to you with planning and on the big day itself, what a lovely way for you too to bond. Your ‘BFF’ doesn’t really seem to be putting in the effort and I ultimately think you will regret that. 

If you truly do want to salvage this friendship you could just explain to her (if she asks) that you want your Future Sister-In-Law to be Maid/Matron of Honor because it’s important to you that you too bond. She can’t really argue with that. 

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