(Closed) Should I ask this guy out?

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
1800 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I would ask him if he would like to go for a drink.

Post # 3
Member
1261 posts
Bumble bee

I’m not a fan of building a romantic relationship before meeting in person – so I say propose a drink! The last thing you want (at least in my opinion) is for a number exchange to lead to lots of phone calls before meeting. Have a meeting and see if you connect in person before spending any more time chatting online.

Also, you may feel that you’ve gotten to “know” him, but do remember that he’s still a stranger and take steps to make sure you’re safe (arriving separately, meeting in a public place, making sure someone else knows of your plans, all of that good stuff).

Good luck!!

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 7 months ago by  mangosandcats.
Post # 4
Member
534 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

Ask him out for a drink, he sounds interested in you. Maybe he’s too nervous to make the first move.

Post # 5
Member
1862 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

Ask him out! And I second mangosandcats:  make sure it’s public, friends know where you are etc 🙂 

Post # 6
Member
891 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

I’d meet up with him before you guys lay it on any thicker. Cos it’s getting pretty thick. 

Post # 8
Member
1261 posts
Bumble bee

footprints: Straight up. I think you’re at the point where it’s imprudent to have any more flirty conversations before meeting in person. I’d contact him and say something very up front, like “Hi – I’ve enjoyed messaging with you over the past few weeks. I’m wondering if you’d like to meet in person, say for a drink at [place] on [day]?

Post # 9
Member
2699 posts
Sugar bee

I wouldn’t outright ask. Just casually say something like…we should have a drink one day. You have thrown all the clues and pretty much dropped it in his lap. If he cannot summon up the courage after that to man up and ask you out, either he isn’t truly interested (some guys are just flirty by nature) or he isn’t the kind of man you’d want to keep (Scared of his own shadow).

Post # 11
Member
1261 posts
Bumble bee

It’s fun to have a crush, but remember that you don’t know this guy yet. There can be a big difference between someone’s online personality and who they are in real life. At this point, he is still a stranger.

I’m not saying this to bring you down, but to keep you from developing strong feelings before you know whether that’s a good idea. Please do go into this with a dose of healthy skepticism. He might look different in person, he might be very cute have a completely different lifestyle than you, and at worst he might not even be who he says he is!

I hope you have a great time, but you’ll do yourself a favor if you are a bit more cautious. Maybe you’ll make a new friend, maybe you won’t click at all in person… try to keep yourself from developing a big crush on this guy until you get to know him offline.

Post # 12
Member
1092 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

From personal experience, when you find  someone you’re attracted to online its best to meet as soon as possible.

Since you live almost an hour apart I would tell him: 

“Im going to be in your neck of the woods on ____ and if you’re free I’d love to meet up with you for coffee. 

It comes across more casual like “Since I’m in the neighborhood anyway”. The reason I suggest coffee on a first meeting rather than a drink is because on several occasions I’ve let my guard down while having such a good time talking and drinks flowing and before I knew it I’m making out with a stranger. How can I trust the intentions of someone I’ve just met? I’ve also had 6 hour dates that started with coffee and that lead to dinner, catching a movie or listening to live music.. All because we were enjoying each other’s company.

Go for it, who knows where it may take you. Good luck.

Post # 13
Member
230 posts
Helper bee

Leave the ball in his court. If he’s shy on social media, he’ll be 10x worse in real life.

Post # 14
Member
1082 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I’d ask him for a drink. Nothing wrong with a shy guy! I once talked to a guy online for months before meeting him, and when I finally did I was soooo unattracted to him. I felt so bad. So it’s better to meet before talking too much! 

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