(Closed) Should I ask, "Where's the gift?"

posted 5 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
Member
955 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

If I were you, I wouldn’t bother…unless you want to hear yet another lie!  Sounds to me like this friend just isn’t going to give a gift.  

Post # 4
Member
4439 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

@NJmeetsBX:  I wouldn’t ask, like you said there probably wasn’t ever a gift.  Maybe she was waiting for her finances to improve so she could buy you something and then so much time went by she’s probably hoping you’ve forgotten.

I had a friend say she couldn’t attend my shower but would send the gift with her friend who was coming… yeah that didn’t happen.

Post # 5
Member
1572 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I wouldn’t bother asking, as it comes across a little gift grabby… I understand why you are upset, but it sounds like you’ve already guessed there was never a gift.

I would maybe just reconsider the gifts you give her in future, or the stuff you do to help her out!

Post # 6
Member
9074 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

You did those things out of the kindness of your heart. Did you do them for repayment? Did you do them for future gifts? If you did, then you did them for the wrong reason.

I think you’re acting selfishly if your first thought was, “Well I helped you and you can’t even give me something for it?” You claim this person is your friend — would you drive them to the dentist and demand they repay you for it? Or if you help them plan a birthday party, would you get upset if they didn’t give you something in return?

I think it’s silly to be upset over a gift, hypothetical or not. Just because you helped plan/pay for a bachelorette/any party does not make you entitled to anything.

Do good deeds and good things without expectation or desire for recognition.

Post # 7
Member
2902 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

It’s less about the gift and more about the blatant dishonesty. That would concern me if a friend (best friend) flat out lied to my face and concocted an ongoing story. It’s weird. 

Post # 8
Member
1102 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Wow. What a nice friend. I would be so tempted to be like ‘where’s my gift, b!tch??” but the bigger person thing to do is prob just forget it.

However, in the future I would be tempted to tell her that I have an AMAZING b-day gift for her.. and then never give her one…. cause I’m a jerk like that.

Post # 9
Member
9642 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@NJmeetsBX:  I wouldn’t say anything, you’re not going to get a straight answer anyway.  At least you got to vent your frustration here, though.  🙂

Post # 10
Member
3211 posts
Sugar bee

I wouldn’t bother. You know how she is. She will probably just lie about things. Unfortunately, not everyone is a generous.

Post # 11
Member
342 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@FauxBoho:  +1.

It’s not about the gift. It’s the fact she lied. And I don’t think its wrong to want a little acknowledgement for your wedding after you gave her a lot of acknowledgement for her life events. Life has a lot of give and take. You can only give so much and get nothing in return before you can’t take it anymore. It hurts… Especially from a close friend.

I personally wouldn’t say anything, but I wouldn’t make much of an effort to do much for her in the future.

Post # 12
Member
2554 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

it’s a little white lie. i’m sure she had the intention of buying you a gift and it kept slipping her mind. I don’t think this is a big deal. in fact, I don’t even think it’s an issue

Post # 15
Member
6360 posts
Bee Keeper

No. Don’t ask. Never ask where the gift is or when it’s coming.

 

Post # 16
Member
5002 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

Nope, just drop it. 

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