should i be concerned about this or no?

posted 7 months ago in Relationships
Post # 17
Member
172 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

I mean maybe he didn’t tell you because he anticipated you having this reaction?  Calling your SO cheap isn’t exactly a good sign and not very respectful.  And he may have wanted to talk to her to get closure, which he wouldn’t have if she did “ghost” him.

 

Post # 18
Member
623 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

needadviceplease81 :  It doesn’t seem like a big deal. He was honest with you about having contact with the ex. He could have been more specific about the details, yes. Tel him if that bothers you. “Hey you” is not flirty in any way. If you are worried just talk to him about why he would be interested in reconnecting with someone who treated him as she did.

It seems like you are almost trying to find issues or harbour resentment in the relationship. Every couple is different in regards to saying ‘I love you’ and you wouldn’t want someone saying it before they mean it. As for being ‘cheap’, I don’t know what expectations you have about money, but why shouldn’t money be 50/50 in an equal partership? This seems quite superficial. These concerns seem more about your insecurities and expectations than about his behaviour.

Post # 19
Member
563 posts
Busy bee

I think “hey you” is flirty. Combined with continuing the conversation, and later making it in to a story about how he blew her off to make himself look better, I can see why you are annoyed. 

I wouldn’t be concerned though, it’s just one of those small things. Let his punishment be that he got blown off by her again (ha ha) and forget about it. 

Post # 21
Member
1037 posts
Bumble bee

I like a person who is generous (though not irrresponsible) with his money and not tight-fisted, so being cheap would bother me. Why is that ridiculously shallow? Cheapness is not a good quality in a person. 

Anyway, I don’t agree with the way your BF handled this. He voluntarily told you that his ex contacted him in order to make himself look good or perhaps make you a little jealous (“can you believe my crazy ex is after me” type thing), then misrepresented the exchange. “Hey you” is flirtatious, and you say that she was the one who ended the conversation, not him. I would never respond to an ex that way. This, along wtih your previous post about how he treats you regarding money, would give me pause.

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