Bizarre twist of fate Bees…
My ex called me just there to ask if he could take me out for a drink.
“Ex” might be a strong word. We dated for three and a half months, were never exclusive, I broke things off because he was clearly actively looking for other people, and in my personal opinion, if you don’t want to commit to someone after three months, you probably aren’t ever going to want to commit to them.
He texted me asking how my ski season was (we ski late here in Canada) and asked if I wanted to get a drink to talk about it. I essentially said “thanks, but no thanks.” He then called to say he missed me, especially as an adventure friend, could he please buy me a drink, and I’m so pretty.
It was a short convo. I just said thank you again but wasn’t interested and hung up.
Ex was classic fuck boy. The only one I think I have ever gotten mind tangled into. When his attention was on you it was like the sun was shining just on you. I ended things in April 2017. We continued sleeping together occasionally (which was so much less stressful for me than dating because I had no expectations and he was fantastic in bed) until October 2017 when he got a new girlfriend.
In November 2017 he showed up at my door (drunk) and asked to come in. I asked at the door about his girlfriend. Response: “she was nice, but she wasn’t you.” He then proceeded to cry in my lap about how I am the perfect woman and he doesn’t know what was wrong with him. He slept over. Too drunk for sex. He tried in the morning but I had a 7:30am dentist appointment. Got a text later that afternoon apologizing, advising he was inappropriate, and was still with his new girlfriend.
Following this… I probably made some mistakes.
We went for drinks in Decemer and it was perfect. I had just taken a back country ski course. We chatted about routes. We went home at a reasonable time and it was a classic friendship night. Exactly what I wanted with him. I asked about his girlfriend and he said he was still seeing her but was going to break up with her because she was eight years younger than him and the age difference was too much.
Fast forward to January. We go out for drinks again, drink too much, and end up back at his place. He has not mentioned girlfriend. Given our chat in December I assumed he had broke up with her. We fooled around and when I went for a condom. There were none. This guy ALWAYS had condoms. He was terrified of getting an STI. I was like “where are the condoms? are you still seeing that girl?” His response: “Thanks for being such a great friend and making sure I don’t cheat on my girlfriend”. I obviously left.
Writing this I feel absoutely ridiculous. He told me once I was his sex crack and I think he was probably mine. We maybe chatted once a month or so after that. Always kept it to snow conditions, backcountry skiing, avalanche risk, and summer goals for scrambling and backpacking.
In August I bought a condo. He saw on social media and messaged me. I invited him and his girlfriend to the housewarming. He said it would probably be disrespectful to bring her, given our history, and he was probably right. But he ended up showing up late, around 11:30. His phone kept going off constantly. Turns out he had left his girlfriend sleeping and came without telling her. He got pretty shamed and said we couldn’t be friends (clearly). We deleted each other from social media, and I’ve only heard from him once when my group set off an avalanche (that he saw on other social media) and texted to say he was glad to hear no one was injured.
Haven’t talked to him since August 2017 (avalanche text aside). What are the chances he called tonight?
This was the most dramatic and ridiculous relationship in my life. I have never been involved in one like this before and hope never to be in the future. He was just so fun when we went skiing or camping (plus the bedroom).
It was actually really nice though. I just think about current boyfriend, and how he is completely the opposite. He always wanted to make plans, he always works out ways to see me at least three times a week, usually more, he went to help my sister buy a car, he bought blinds and put them up in my spare room when I was away, he introduced me to his family, he calls me every day, he keeps cider in his fridge because he knows I don’t like beer (fun story about ex, I didn’t used to like red wine, but he didn’t keep anything else in the house, so I had to drink it and actually love it now – always a silver lining). Anyways, new boyfriend just does everything in his actions to show he cares about me, and it was really nice to have a reminder of what other people can be like. Sorry for the essay.