Should I be concerned that I am not my fiances 'type'?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
468 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

You said he “admitted” you were not his type.  What were the circumstances?  Did he initiate telling you?  Did you ask him and then he told you?  Did you ask him and he tried to evade it and you kept on asking until he told you?

When I met my husband in the whole Universe there was my husband and…. there was my husband.  My type is everything my husband is.  Love his personality, his kindness, his humor, and if we’re talking pure physicality, I love the hue, shine, and depth of his hair, his eyes, his ears (seriously he has the cutest ears), his nose, etc.  There is not a part of him I don’t absolutely adore.

IF I had a type and for some reason my husband wasn’t it, I’d never tell him!

Post # 4
Member
468 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

Yep, that’s common, push and push and push for an answer that you may not like.  You hear it here on the board a lot, mostly about how many partners in the past.  Don’t ask if you don’t want the answer!

I may be wrong here but I think it’s mostly women that would verbalize something like you have a cute nose, I don’t think men in general say things like that (even if they think it).

Post # 6
Member
468 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

Well, you know one thing for sure, you’re the type of person he’d propose marriage to!

Post # 7
Member
4651 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
niahc :  I think you are over thinking this way too much. You are his type, he asked you to marry him. I’m assuming he didn’t ask his previous girlfriends to marry him.

Physical appearance and preference is a superficial thing. I can categorically say I don’t find grey haired 70 year old men hot. In 40+ years I’m sure I’ll find my grey haired, saggy balled husband delightfully attractive and I would hope he finds my saggy bazongas and tuck shop Lady arms just as attractive. The reality is that we all age and our appearance change throughout our lives.

Your fiancé may have had a preference but I’m sure he finds your external package sexy as and what makes it even more sexy is what is inside that external package. Its the internal that makes enduring long lasting relationships. We are 10+ years into our relationship and TBH I don’t see the outside of my hubby. When I see him I think of all the great and special qualities that make me love him so much. That’s what makes him attractive to me. I wouldn’t worry about this.

I’d also avoid asking questions that you may not truthfully want the answer to. Poor guy didn’t know that the correct answer was to say blonde with big boobs and that this is an instance in which it is OK to misrepresent the truth to your spouse! You now know that he’s too honest and shouldn’t be asked leading questions because he doesn’t know he is supposed to lie! Lesson learned 😂 

 

 

Post # 8
Member
468 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

And you know what’s funny, before my husband, I’d never say that ears were a selling feature for me.  I’d say something like legs (I’m a runner), maybe eyes.  But it wasn’t until I met my husband that I found out how much you can enjoy a great set of ears!

Same with necklaces.  I’ve never been into necklaces.  My husband got me one.  One of my most favorite items I own.  I’d never really DONE necklaces to know I’d like them that much.

Post # 11
Member
92 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

I think it’s silly to get too caught up in a ‘type’. It’s fine of course to be attracted to certain physical aspects of a person, but when it comes to actually ackowledging and loving the person those things shouldn’t matter. 

 

My husband is completely not what I thought my ‘type’ was, but I fell in love with him and he became my type because I didn’t want anyone else. And then I realised having a ‘type’ was close-minded and silly.

Post # 12
Member
207 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I also think you’re worrying too much. He had a “type” and then he met you and realised what he’d been missing! 

Post # 13
Member
1126 posts
Bumble bee

I wouldn’t worry too much. I’ve never quite got the ‘type’ thing, I tend to just decide based on how attractive each individual person is and have never gone for a certain colouring/body type. I’m not aware my DH has a particular type either, unless he’s avoided telling me because it’s the opposite of me!

I would actually take it as a huge compliment that he was so attracted to you individually that you made him deviate from his usual type!

Post # 14
Member
366 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

I would like to think you’re thinking a little too much about it. I’m a total opposite of what my SO normally likes. 

He likes petite, short and a girlie girl. I’m tall, considered big size for an Asian and a tomboy. But he clearly said, even so… doesn’t mean he don’t love me any less and he plans to marry me.

So yeah, he did propose to you. Even if you’re not his type normally, you’re definitely the type he wants to have a life with. And that’s what matters 🙂

Post # 15
Member
852 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
niahc :  I think having a type is childish and something people do in high school. Eventually, you grow up and realize that it’s what’s inside that counts. Sounds cheesy, but true. 

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