I get that you feel like this is forever, and it very well may be, but what is the rush? If it’s truly forever, why would waiting to have a big party and sign the papers be a big deal?
I got married to my high school sweetheart, who I had been with since 16. I just want to say, people do a lot of growing and changing in their 20’s. You want to think you’ll grow and change together, but that’s not always what happens. We were together for 12 years. Married for 7 of those.
Yes, my parents and his parents both got married young. At 19 and 17 respectively. And both couples are still together. But, it was a different life and a different world. I’m not saying it can’t work, I’m just saying there is no reason to rush things. Grow. Figure out your lives. Heck, figure them out, together, if that’s what you want. But DO NOT get married. Please. I beg you.
My first marriage was a mess. Neither of us knew who we were or what we wanted out of life. Sometimes we would work toward a future together and sometimes we would do it separately and against one another. We didn’t know how to argue in a healthy manner and things were BAD. We both needed to grow up, a lot, and have some life experiences. Luckily we didn’t have kids, because, wow, if I had to still speak to that man today – I would be DEVASTATED.
I married an amazing man/boy the first time, but he grew and turned into a Monster. If I had given it just a few more years I would have seen who he was going to become, as an adult. I would have seen what life experiences did to him to change him and realized that he was not who I thought he was.
You’re so very young. There is so much life left to happen to you. Don’t put yourself in a position that you can’t easily get out of, because I promise you, you both will grow and change a TON in the next 10 years.
My current husband got married for the first time at 30, and he says that was even too young, for him. I remarried at 30 and I am comfortable that I made the right decision and that this man won’t change and grow into someone I don’t know. Yes, things could still happen, but we have developed who we are, what we do, strong friendships and careers to support us. Work on those things. Work on them individually and support one another, but hold that paperwork off for a few more years. Please.