Post # 1
As some of you may know, I am having a really hard time to get my Fiance to participate in our wedding planning. So last Sat we sat down and talk about it. He told me that all he want to do and he think his duty is to pay all the bills and to show up on the wedding!!
Should I be happy about it? He said he does not care how detail I want to go into but he will pay the bills. That being said, I will be finding my florist, and deal with other details on my own…
We have a budget tho…but seriously, should I be happy that he gave me 100% control of my wedding? I feel like I am marrying to myself. I don’t know why…
What a weird feeling!!
Post # 3
i want and need my fi to help plan our wedding… it’s OUR wedding. not MY wedding. it’s kind of nice that you can make all the choices though – no need to argue about flowers, colors, or honeymoon location!
Post # 4
I really do think you should be happy with his decision. You can still bring your ideas to him and keep him posted on what you are doing. I am in total control of our wedding, but I still run everything by my Fiance before I finalize anything; just in case he changes his mind and has an opinion.
Post # 5
i would be happy – i was lucky that Fiance tagged along to some of my meetings but in the end i made almost all of the decisions on my own. i would ask him things here and there like what do you thinkabout this and that… in the end though they kind of have to help with some things…i just desginated him in charge of dealing with rehearsal dinner (since his parents were paying) and tuxes..as well as calling around for RSVPs when we didnt get them. but all the little details and stuff was all on me and i enjoyed every minute of it.
Post # 6
Could be worse….I love my Darling Husband, but boy was he over opinionated. Sometimes I wished he would just butt out! LOL He even cared about what went in the Out of Town bags
Post # 7
Well, since your money is joint when you are married (even if you keep it separate, most states are community property states), technically all he is doing is spending your future joint money. So I don’t think “paying all the bills” is that impressive. If it’s important to you that he participate, I would think of things he might want to get more involved in.
Post # 8
Honestly I wanted my fiance’s input and was annoyed at his lack of participation… right up until he had an opinion that was different than mine. I found it easiest to just let it go and recognize that my husband just doesn’t care about the details as much as I do.
Post # 9
He did help me at the early stage of the planning. When it gets to details he said I can do whatever I want.
By the way, he still has some tasks to do, the most important thing is to figure out the marriage license thing.
It’s not like he does NOTHING, but I still feel kind of weird…even my friend, our MC, is more excited than he is…
Post # 10
Men see this as “our day” not their day- no matter how liberated they are.
Post # 11
I am in the same situation. He has no opinions, the only thing he has contributed as far as ideas go is that he wants his Groomsmen wearing red plaid bow ties and that he wants me not to wear make up (#2 isn’t happening)
Post # 12
I agree with crayfish that his saying he will pay for everything doesn’t really mean much, as you guys will be combining money after you’re married. But you should count yourself lucky your Fiance isn’t trying to be overly involved in everything: too many opinions can make wedding planning extra stressful. If I were you, I’d ask him if there’s anything specific he’d like to plan–maybe he’s a music lover and wants to pick some songs, or maybe he can find the perfect honeymoon destination. If he truly doesn’t want to be the decision-maker on any of these things, then at least you tried, right?
Post # 13
I would be so happy if Fiance wanted me to plan the whole thing from the start. At the beginning he wanted say in every little detail, but he also didn’t want to spend a lot of time looking at wedding stuff. I had no clue what to do. In kind of the middle of planning he was ok at spending more time looking at wedding stuff, but was also getting ok with me to pick stuff out. Now I think he is bored of planning, so he lets me do pretty much what I want and just hands me his bank card or credit card when I need it.
Post # 14
Some guys could care less quite honestly. My Fiance has wanted to take on a larger role but I am a take charge kind of person and just do it when I want it done and not when we can both do it. I of course ask his opinion so he at least feels involved. He will probably become more involved as it gets closer.
Post # 15
This strikes me as lazy & uncaring. I’m so glad that my Fiance is interested in most aspects of the wedding- his job is very busy but he manages to organise his share of things.
I wouldn’t be very impressed if this was my FI’s attitude towards our wedding!
Post # 16
@aprilsixteenth: i TOTALLY agree.
It’s just awful that your fiance doesn’t want to participate more in the wedding. It’s HIS wedding too and he SHOULD care how that day goes because it’s a very important day for you both. My fiance has been involved with EVERYTHING in the wedding planning. He is my best friend and even went with me to pick out my wedding gown. I love how supportive he is about everything and he should be because without his opinion, I might as well be marrying myself!
it’s important that he is involved. So tell him to quit being LAZY and get involved in BOTH of your guy’s wedding.