(Closed) Should I be mad?

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
7647 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

I know you are upset, but you mailed those pretty early. I understand why you mailed them so early, but you kind of expected everyone to put all their plans on hold for July when most people don’t know what their plans will be until a month or two prior. Hence why we all get majority STDs in the mail the week of the wedding. So I kind of get how your bridesmaid forgot. Things come up, and she probably saw a convenient opportunity for herself to go on a cruise.

I think you should let this one slide and not be concerned with it. It will not make or break your bridal shower. There will be more than enough people there, and your friend will be there for you when you need her the most–at the wedding.

Post # 5
Member
46670 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Yes , it would be nice to have all your bridesmaids at the shower.

No, she doesn’t have to put her life on hold until after your wedding. Maybe she got a great deal and maybe this is the only week she can get away from work.

Go ahead, be disappointed, but mad is a bit much.

Post # 7
Member
2493 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Frankly, call me crazy, but I wouldn’t bother about her missing a shower for a vacation. It’s not a huge event that will be ruined without her. I say you should breathe, let go, apologize for the rude email, and move on. Smile and enjoy your shower sans one lady.

Post # 8
Member
771 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@julies1949:  I agree – I think you are overreacting a bit. 

Post # 9
Member
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Thats kinda shitty.  I would try not to let it get you down though.  I’m sure your shower is going to be awesome!  Just going forward remember what her priorties were.

Post # 10
Member
1561 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@mags2233:  I think you are overreacting.  You sent notice of a summer shower back in the winter.  I don’t blame her for not remembering.  Most people don’t book showers that far out, maybe she figured it was some tentative date.  Or maybe you send like 17 dates in one email and she got confused.  Who knows, but your email to her was not nice.  If you are upset, convey that to her in a more mature way than “it is what it is, I guess.”

Post # 11
Member
4887 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Unfortunately your/our wedding events are not the center of other people’s worlds like they are ours.  

If I’m being honest, I’d have no problem booking a cruise/vacation over a shower date for any of my friends.  That doesn’t make me a bad friend.  It makes me someone who doesn’t really care for showers and would be better off not going to them in the first place.  Don’t judge people by their behavior during your planning as its a very emotional time, you know?

Post # 12
Member
7647 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@mags2233:  Honey, I’ll be honest, you were sending out notifications a little too early and a little too eagerly. You have been doing this 5-6 times since you got engaged and your wedding isn’t under October? The only thing that the bridal party is required to be at is the rehearsal and the wedding.

I agree with julies1949 that you can def. be upset, but not mad. But being upset isn’t going to make anything better. She’s already made plans…

Post # 13
Member
745 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I think it says a lot about her that she didn’t take your passive-aggressive bait in her replies. If I received a response like you sent, I wouldn’t have been as calm. She didn’t have a responsibility to be at your shower, and her life doesn’t revolve around your wedding. If you only “guess” you’re close, then you won’t miss her.

Post # 15
Member
1306 posts
Bumble bee

@mags2233:  I know exactly how you feel.  I had 2 bridesmaids and a Maid/Matron of Honor, and none of them were able to make it to my shower.  All were conveniently on vacation that weekend.   

It’s tough not to be mad.  I was mad for several days.  I felt like a loser – what kind of bride has none of her bridesmaids at her shower!?  (Is how I felt…).  I eventually calmed down and got over it.  Am I still disappointed?  Yes.  Did I hold this against them?  No.  So, just wanted to say that I completely sympathize with you – however, life does go on, even though the situation does suck!!  🙂

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