Post # 1
Darling Husband and I started TTC in January, got our BFP in May, and are currently 11 1/2 weeks along. We’ve had a couple ultrasounds, and I’m definitely excited to be pregnant. But I worry sometimes that I’m not as excited as I should be.
Part of it is that now that it’s real, and I have friends with babies, I think I’m freaking out a little about actually being able to handle it. When it was hypothetical, I felt like, “people may it work, we can handle it.” But now I’m wondering how we’ll pay for day care, how I’ll handle going back to work 70 hours a week on no sleep, etc. And my friend is so obsessed with her new baby, and I’m like, “yeah he’s so cute…” and I worry that I’ll be bored with my own baby too.
The other thing is that I work in health care and see horrible outcomes all the time. I see people all the time who are so innocently excited and then their world gets completely destroyed. I think I’m couching my expectations a bit, by not letting myself get too attached, in case something goes wrong.
I’ve told some people (family, some friends/coworkers), but someone totally outed me the other day to others that didn’t know, and I was so upset it ruined my night. I just worry that I’m so “eh” about it when people congratulate me – not that I’m not happy, but just that it still doesn’t feel real. I just don’t really feel like I’m actually going to be a parent.
I know this is a long rambling post, I guess I’m just hoping that I’m not crazy to feel like this. And if anyone else felt this way, did it get better at any point in the pregnancy? Or at least when the baby came? I just feel like there’s something wrong with me.
Post # 3
I feel exactly the same way, I’ll be 12 weeks tomorrow. People congratulate me, I smile, but then they ask if I’m excited, so I guess I’m not showing people I’m happy enough. I keep worrying that something is going to go wrong and now that everybody knows it will be harder on me if something does happen, I think that is partially drowning some of my excitement. I think the other part is that I really don’t feel pregnant. I had a bunch of symptoms at the beginning but they’ve pretty much all gone away in the last 3 weeks and I feel totally normal. I just had an ultrasound last week so I know everything was fine then but I just don’t really feel any different. I also have my freakouts like in theory our savings seemed good enough but some other things have come up and I’m freaking out about our living situation, paying for day care, insurance, and all the other expenses that come with it plus trying to work a crazy stressful job on no sleep. I keep thinking I’ll feel more excited when I actually feel really pregnant-have a bump and feel the baby move/kick.
Post # 4
I’m 17 weeks pregnant today and I still don’t feel very excited. It’s weird, I was so excited when I found out, and don’t get me wrong I’m very happy, but I think it’s just a difficult transition to make in your mind. I think once I start feeling consistant movement and I find out the gender I’ll be able to get into the planning half, which will in turn make me become more excited. I’ve also had zero symptoms other than being tired, so although I’m now sporting a real bump, it still seems so ordinary :/
Post # 5
I’d like to say it gets better, and maybe it will for you but I honestly wasn’t terribly excited for my entire pregnancy.
I was fortunate; I had a pretty easy pregnancy and felt good up until the last few weeks but for whatever reason, I just wasn’t super pumped and I never felt that connected to my baby. Feeling her kick was pretty cool, as was decorating the nursery. But mostly I felt meh.
Dirty Delete is 7 weeks old now and she’s pretty amazing. 🙂
Post # 6
I kind of get how you feel. It isn’t that I’m not excited, I’m just also overwhelmed and terrified, so that levels out to appearing a little ‘meh’ about the whole thing. I hope the terror of a miscarriage fizzles after the first trimester, but I’m sure it will just be replaced by other, equally terrifying things (anatomy scans, genetic testing, oh and LABOR and what to do with the child after). Additionally, we agreed to that I would be a Stay-At-Home Mom after, so the clock started towards the extended pause of my professional life the moment I got a BFP (another thing that terrifies me). I wish I was one of those confident and glowy pregnant ladies, maybe with the next one…
Post # 7
@ZoeyGirl: I think this is 100% normal. Anyone that looks thrilled every moment is hiding something. I am 12w 5d and I go back and forth between excitement and terror. Last week, I found out that I’m having a boy and that really kind of changed things for me. I instantly felt more connected somehow.
Don’t be hard on yourself. You will love your baby, I promise 🙂
Post # 8
@ZoeyGirl: I constantly felt like I didn’t feel as excited or enamored as I should during pregnancy. It really helps once you go in for that 20 week U/S and can see distinguishable features on your baby and feel your baby move inside of you. Then you’ll start to notice reactions from them– like if I took a bath and poured cold water over my bump, the baby would move away, and sometimes when certain songs would come on the radio (like “Moves like Jagger” from Maroon 5 or whatever that song is) the baby would go CRAZY. When kiddo came out, I loved her, but I still didn’t feel like I loved her enough. Now that she’s developed wants and needs (she’s 11 months), preferences and personalities, I don’t think its physically possible to love her more. I think sometimes we have unrealistic expectations based on media and books about what we’re supposed to feel– at least I know I did!
Post # 9
@newlynesting: Thanks for the reassurance!
Post # 10
I really appreciate all the words of camaraderie. It’s nice to know that other people also have mixed feelings about pregnancy. Darling Husband is being really supportive too, so that helps. Thanks again Bees!
Post # 11
I relate to this too. I will be 5w tomorrow, and I had a missed mc in January. Last time I got pregnant on the 2nd try, and we didn’t really expect it to work so quickly. This time I just feel like I am waiting this out until the NT scan, and then maybe I will allow myself to get a little excited.
I expect to love my baby, and I really feel that having a baby is a major part of the human experience. So, I think it is a worthwhile thing to do, and I know I would regret not being a parent. But our lifestyle is pretty great right now and I am sort of mourning the parts I will be giving up.
Please shoot me if I ever post anything about toilet training on FB in 3 yrs. And it’s only been a week since my BFP and I already miss my favorite Sauvignon Blanc!!!
Post # 12
@ElbieKay: My husband and I had an ectopic in feb and we had been SOOO excited. With this preg, we both are very hesitant and i dont think will get more excited until we have another U/S and you can actually see what looks like a baby and until i get a bump. I am slowly allowing myself to look at baby stuff. (We are 10 weeks).
Post # 13
@ZoeyGirl: Sounds like you’re having a pretty typical roller coaster reaction. You’ll probably feel more excited when you start to show – that’s what did it for me, around 4 months.
Post # 14
@Sunshine09: Well one of my coworkers pulled me aside today, because apparently I already am showing! She said she noticed a bump and my boobs being bigger, and there’s only one thing that could’ve caused that. And I haven’t even put on any weight! I probably am more bloated, but this is such a bummer.