(Closed) Should I be offended or worried?

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

The closer you get to the wedding their excitement will build up. 

Post # 4
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I only talk about the wedding with my MOH/sister.  I agree, they will ask more when it gets closer.

Post # 5
Member
5 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@Gaby418: I feel the same way about my family’s reaction. I learned that sometimes once you bring it up then they’ll show an interest. I’d let them know what you’d like their input on and see if they show more interest then. Hope they help out and support you when you need it most.

Post # 6
Member
5 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@Gaby418: I feel the same way about my family’s reaction. I learned that sometimes once you bring it up then they’ll show an interest. I’d let them know what you’d like their input on and see if they show more interest then. Hope they help out and support you when you need it most.

Post # 7
Member
10287 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

As much as no bride likes to hear it, your wedding isn’t as important to your friends as it is to you. I came to that realization pretty early in the game. As it gets closer they will probably become more involved but you cant really fault them for seeming uninterested right now. I know my girls are happy for me but I dont expect them to want to talk about my wedding all the time, just like I didn’t want to talk about theirs constantly when they were the bride. 

Post # 8
Member
971 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

Most women won’t ask about your wedding because they figure you’re getting bombarded by others and might want to talk about other things for a change!  I have a friend who got married a few years ago and, when we’d get together for drinks, she’d always say she was glad that we didn’t ask about the wedding because she was so sick of talking about it to everyone else.  We let her tell us what she wanted to tell us when she wanted to!   

Or they might be afraid that, if they bring up the wedding, you’re going to talk non-stop about it!  lol!  Now, I’m NOT saying that you would!!!!!  Right now, I have a friend who is getting married and she manages to manipulate every conversation into her wedding.  One of our friends got her hair cut and instead of saying “Your hair is great”, she turned it into an hour long diatribe on how she should wear her hair for the wewdding.  Somoene mentioned a signature drink that the restaurant had and we heard another hour long one-sided conversation about the signature drinks she was going to have at her wedding.  I swear, you could bring up the most inane topic and she’d find a way to turn it into wedding chat.  Nobody asks her about it because we know that if we bring it up, it’s all we’ll hear!  

Remember … not everyone is going to be as into your wedding as you are!   

Post # 9
Member
365 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I have the complete opposit problem. My sister is my Maid/Matron of Honor and she has no interest in the wedding AT ALL!! But insisted that she had to be the Maid/Matron of Honor. In fact she wants to look involved infront of certain people (mostly family) but when she’s involved she is very sulky and put out. She has even gone as far as picking the ugliest/worst things and strongly suggesting it while everyone else is like “really? I think I like this better”.

I have three very supportive, excited bridesmaids. However their excitement kind of comes in goes in spurts. I then have a fourth bm who honestly I am not sure if she is even in the wedding anymore. I would never demote or remove someone but she has withdrawn herself so much (can’t get a hold of her) that I am wondering if this is her way of letting me know she doesn’t want to do it.

There is serval reasons why you BM’s might not asking you about your wedding details.

-My bm’s wanted to be more involved than I thought and it wasn’t until they missed a few things I didn’t think they wanted to do that they finally spoke up. So now I send a general email telling them when I am doing certain things and if they want and can make it they are more than welcome to join me. I was just doing things with Fiance, mom, and Maid/Matron of Honor. So they may just be waiting for you to invite them to do things. I also sent two update emails with dates and location of the venue, rehearsal dinner, etc. They liked being kept in the loop.

-If none of your girls have been married or in a wedding they maybe completely oblivious and out of the loop. I am the first of my close friends to get married and I think I would be a bad Bridesmaid or Best Man had I not had my wedding first LOL. I would want to be involved but not sure if I’d be stepping on toes. Two of my Bridesmaid or Best Man have been in a few wedding and the other involved one got married a few years ago and is now helping with her sisters.

 

This may not be the case with your girl IDK. It’s just some food for thought. Maybe you could send out an email to them (or however you can get a hold of them best) and let them know when you are doing certain things. Let them know that they are more than welcome to come along but not to feel obligated, that there will be no hurt feelings if they can’t make it for any reason (work is a good out for them if they don’t really want to). They may just be waiting for you to take charge and let them know what you expect of them. I am really laid back about things but I do like to keep them posted and involved. I wouldn’t be offended or worried if I were you. I am not offended by my one Bridesmaid or Best Man I wish she could just say no (it’s always been a problem for her) I could tell when I asked she felt she HAD to say yes. The point of the wedding is to get married and it sounds like you have some supporters that’s all you need. If they are truly not interested then maybe they aren’t as good of friends as you think. My one Bridesmaid or Best Man just got engaged and is disappointed in her “close” friends who had nothing to say to her during this exciting time in her life.

Sorry this is long winded but maybe it’ll help somehow. Good Luck!

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